We are pretty mellow beach-goers. A few towels, shovels, some sunscreen and a snack. And since I gave birth to the sleepers from hell, we are nearly always the first people on the beach. This particular vacation day, we drop our bag and towels and run towards the ocean at 8:30 in the morning.
Fifty waves and thirteen possible jellyfish sightings later, we head back to our stuff to dig a sand castle and destroy it.
As we near our towels, I notice that a family had settled diagonal to us and a little close considering HOW LARGE THE BEACH IS, but I shrug it off.
Like people did when Germany tried to take over Europe.
Because a snack and two mud huts later, the family had built a LARGE, WHITE, POSSIBLE REVIVAL TENT DIRECTLY BEHIND US.
Their digging and planting within two feet of our towels makes a complete mockery of our meager beach possession as if BEACH LAW doesn’t clearly states that there is a 5 FOOT BUBBLE around each group’s towels and chairs.
Yes, my friends, they were BEACH CREEPERS.
It starts out with a chair too close. Suddenly, there 90’s country music blasting in your ears, the boys are playing football over your head and Grandma’s mistaking you for her disappointing daughter-in-law. At least that’s what you hope all those dirty looks and curse words are about.
They want you to give up your prime real-estate in exchange for peace and quiet. They are forcing you to prove to the rest of the beach-goers that you are, in fact, NOT related to them.
Instead, I let my kids play under their tent. It was clearly in our bubble so it MUST BE OURS.
Plus, no one’s going to make me listen to country music without getting sand on their towels.
When my husband walked up to our beach invasion, he yelled: DO YOU HAVE A FLAG? Here’s why: (click here if you can’t see the video)