Anatomically Correct Arts And Crafts Is Never A Good Idea

Last year, when my husband picked up my son from camp, he was handed E’s craft for the day. And while preschool arts can be mysterious, he just couldn’t stop staring at it.

Finally, he turned to the counselor: Excuse me. What exactly was the theme for today?

That's a lot to live up to, kid.

This year, the camp changed the shape of the craft. So I was greeted by a much pointier …


Or E just added the circulatory system.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

23 thoughts to “Anatomically Correct Arts And Crafts Is Never A Good Idea”

    1. Yay! Because I debated the title for awhile. Originally, it was “Penis Guitar” but I worried that it would give the whole post away. Also, it might bring in a new “audience”?

      1. Yea, probably not the audience you seek. But there is something to penis guitar too… no that’s just my sleep addled brain adding a dirty double entendre. You chose well.

  1. Oh my gosh! That’s hysterical. I can totally see why he wondered. Yes, the previous year’s guitar was much more rockin’. Whew!!!! Hahahahahaha. That is awesome. You need to send this in to a parenting mag.

  2. Nobody at preschool-aged summer camp noticed this? Dying over here. I think that lesson/craft is for a different age group. And by the way, I think schools should absolutely provide arts and crafts in sex ed. It would be really helpful for the visual, tactile learners – and a sound alternative to the other visual, tactile ways of learning that particular subject.

    1. I just snorted a little over that! Sex ed arts and crafts, I love it!
      Johny what did you do in school today?
      Nothing just paper mached a penis and scrotum.. snort

  3. Hahaha, oh my goodness. Ummm… wow! My hubs was looking over my shoulder and asked me “WHAT are you reading?!” Whoa.

  4. I’m still not seeing a guitar. I thought it was the Eiffel Tower.

    I’m laughing imagining your husband politely asking the teacher, “Ecuse me, what exactly was the theme today?”

    Also, you MUST save these. Maybe even put them on the fridge!

  5. last year: penis guitar
    this year: robot penis guitar
    next year…. well, just wait till you see what happens when we introduce yarn. i cannot reveal details, but do NOT forget to sign up for camp when the theme is “sasquatch week”

    …and somewhere out there rests a sci-fi-loving 17 year old camp counselor who cut out fifty of those robot penis guitar shapes…BY HAND! where is the appreciation people? 100% original creative energy.

  6. I’m an artist myself. Tell the kid his work is rich and colorful with intimations of life while leaving a lot of the imagination. Or else say man, that is sure hot pink.

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