It Is Going To Be A Long, Gifted Marriage

My daughter was asked to skip a year in preschool so, of course, I decide that she’s gifted. And Scott and I begin our discussion of our little Einstein like most couples, by GETTING INTO A FIGHT ABOUT WHO IS HER GIFTED PARENT.

Me: I think N is gifted.

Scott: Well, look at me.

Me: What?

Scott: I’m gifted.

Me: Hmmm…

Scott: What? You don’t think I’m gifted?

Me: Didn’t you NOT get into the gifted program in elementary school?

Scott: The teacher didn’t explain how to take the test.

Me: Maybe that WAS the test.

Scott: NO, IT WASN’T. I was in the gifted program in my next elementary school.

Me: So you had to switch schools to get into the gifted program?

Scott: So you think that you’re the gifted person?

Me: I was in the gifted program in school WITHOUT having do to anything more than be myself. And I went to a better college than you.

Scott: I did better in college than you.

Me: Yeah but you had to STUDY.

Scott: SO? I studied in order to be second in my chemistry class.

Me: Nobody cares that you were second in your chemistry class. I’m better in more subjects than you.

Scott: I got better grades than you in medical school.

Me: True. Wait, weren’t we supposed to be talking about N?

Scott: Are you changing the subject?

Me: Fine, you’re gifted, too.

Scott: THANK YOU.

Me: But I’m more gifted.

{later that night. in bed.}

Me: Psst, wake up.

Scott: grumblegrumble

Me: I just read that gifted people are night owls. We don’t like you daytime people getting in the way of our smarts.

Scott: I’m asleep, Alex.

Me: FINE.

{the next morning}

Me: I did some more gifted reading.

Scott: Great.

Me: Gifted people often overestimate how smart they are. I’m kinda pissed.

Scott: I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

Isolation happens to gifted people all the time, am I right? Of course, I am.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

24 thoughts on “It Is Going To Be A Long, Gifted Marriage

  1. That was awesome.

    I often bust out with, “So, I’ve done some more reading on (x)…” and the husband’s words say “Great” but his tone intimates something much less enthusiastic.

    His loss.

  2. This was so funny. For me it wouldn’t be I did more reading, it would go “so the internet told me…” I often will research things obessively until I get the answer I want.

  3. This is much better than the conversation J and I had about our firstborn a couple years back. That convo took more of the “He’s too smart for his own good. It scares me. You don’t think he’ll blow up the house, do you?”

    We’re running scared, and we know it.

  4. I think that I think I’m much smarter than I actually am. So maybe I’m gifted.

    Did that first sentence even make sense? And I just spelled ‘sentence’ wrong the first time I wrote it. Maybe not so gifted…

  5. If he’s so gifted, why doesn’t he have people following his blog about medicine? That’s right, because he’s not gifted enough to have one.

  6. Someone once told me that we often marry people who have very similar IQs to our own. No idea if there is research to back that up.

  7. Having been blessed the TWO “Gifted” kids, it’s fun to watch them talk to each other. It’s a fair fight even if they are 20 years apart.

    “We don’t like you daytime people getting in the way of our smarts.”
    Exactly…..

  8. I’m lucky in that my husband’s parents have already said that our daughter’s giftedness came from me, thus eliminating any further conversation on the matter.

    Get the in-laws on your side. It can be useful.

  9. This is so awesome it hurts. Hilariously true as well because we all know my son is gifted because of me. ::Cough::

  10. Haha…I laughed out loud! Your conversation was so funny, like to gifted kids in preschool :). This is actually totally the way we behave as well in my house.
    My (not yet) husband has exaclty the same degree as I have, same year, same graduation class, most usually we have some breeze at home too LOL.

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