I Found My Good Attitude Mama

My son can have a bad attitude.

Me: Time to get in the car, E.

Insert school, television, slides, popcorn, his sister, a tree, leaving anywhere, me and pretty much anything that catches him in THE MOOD. He may have loved school, television, slides, popcorn, his sister, a tree, leaving anywhere, me and pretty much anything, just yesterday. But in this particular hour? He is very happy to hate with loud fury.

But, of course, I’ve come up with the perfect response. Because I’m the perfect mom.

I'm pretty sure perfect moms ignore their kids for their iPhones SOMETIMES. And there's a small chance that we are looking at something more educational and less Angry Bird.

Alright fine, but it IS still the perfect response:

Me: E, I’m not a fan of this bad attitude. Where’s your good attitude?

E: I can’t find it.

Me: Are you even looking? Because I really need you to find your good attitude.

E: But it’s so HARD. I may have left it at home.

Me: Look around carefully, E.

E: Oh Mama, here it is! In my pocket!

Me: Great news, sweetie.

E: I’m going to swallow it now, Mama!

Me: Um, okay.

I glance in my rear view mirror and see this:

That is TOTALLY what a good attitude looks like when you find it in your pocket. And eat it.

TADA! Now, where’s my award?

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

28 thoughts to “I Found My Good Attitude Mama”

  1. No KIDDING! You need an award for sure! I discovered ‘smile in my pocket’ a while back. I might accidentally punch it onto her face instead of place it, but don’t tell CPS

  2. I’m totally going to need to try out this “swallow your good attitude” thing on my kid. Especially next time we leave the beach cause this last time was pretty darn epic on the bad attitude scale!

  3. Uh, how would the good attitude battle and defeat the bad attitude if he HADN’T swallowed it? The bad attitude was already INSIDE him. Makes perfect sense.

  4. I just checked my pockets, and my good attitude isn’t there. Have any other ideas where it may be hiding? Maybe you could send E my way to help me find it!

  5. LOVE it. The Roo often has to find his “happy heart”. That has never been found in his pocket though. Usually it is in his bedroom or the bathroom. :o) And I am not ignoring my children to type this…

  6. Fabulous!
    I tell my son to “find his happy face” and that only happy and helpful boys skip naps, so he better find it if he wants to skip his nap. Of course, there is no way he can stay happy and helpful until dinner, so I still get a nap time most days.

  7. That’s an AWESOME attitude and an amazing smile. 🙂

    I don’t have an award for you, but don’t sue when I copy your method to ward off madness.

  8. I wonder if this works with 13 year old female middleschoolers!?!
    Hmmm….I’m definitely gonna try it.

    It sure beats the “be the change you wanna see in the world’ conversations we’ve been having. Those are going over real well….sigh.

  9. This is genius. Now all I need is a few more months of verbal skills for the Big dude and I will implement stat. Nice work Alex.

    Also, have you heard of the fear bottle? You just fill a plastic bottle with water and put in food coloring. When he’s afraid of something hand it to him and say: “this is your fear. you can decide how much to pour out at a time, but when it’s all gone, you aren’t afraid anymore!” It is equally amazing.

  10. huh. maybe I need to look in my pocket next time. And I usually take my good attitude and shoot it up. wait. what?

    i don’t do drugs.

    damnit. this is awkward.

  11. I love this. At least he’s humble enough to say he found it. … I think it’s because he’s a boy. That’s something my son would do but not my daughter.

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