BlogHer [blawg-hur] —noun
The largest annual conference of women (and a few men) bloggers, which brings with it a chance to see old friends and meet new ones while making connection that will propel my writing and blog to awesomeville as well as remind me what an unknown, anxiety-ridden, socially awkward person I am.
Last year, I went to BlogHer. And while I appreciated meeting cool people and programs that have paid off personally and professionally, when I arrived home, I swore that I would never go again.
And now that I have even more opinions on blogging and bloggers and have realized that my BlogHer ‘10 summary could have been seen as “trying to get bigger bloggers to comment” (which it wasn’t because I didn’t even know people DID that sort of thing and half of them I only knew were famous because other people told me), I’m torn.
There are a few people that I really would like to meet and hang out with in person. Although not all of the people, that I desperately want to meet, are going. Even though come early August, it will FEEL like all the people I have ever wanted to meet, spoken to briefly or are amazing, are there. At BlogHer. Having the time of their lives and signing million dollar book deals.
One problem is that the conference is in San Diego this year, which is 20 hours of travel and one of my most compelling and least fear-driven reasons to not go. However, as I am writing this, I realize that, last year, my roommate and I drove to NYC so it’s not THAT MUCH more travel time. Dammit.
Ooh, what about: airline tickets cost more than the drive was. But I did remember to get a conference ticket and a hotel room early this year so I saved money in my fore-thought that this might be a post come May. (FYI: In case you are concerned, I can easily sell my ticket and let go of my room if I don’t attend.)
Yup, it’s mostly fear. And a healthy knowledge of my own weaknesses. Or challenges, as I like to refer to them when I’m feeling like my own HR department.
In the past week:
I told one friend that I was a noncommittal no.
I told one friend that I’d love to room with her, but I wouldn’t know if I was going until this weekend. I have no idea what will happen this weekend to let me know except now I’m blogging about it.
I told another friend that she had to listen to all my fears before she could even ask me if I was attending.
I told Scott that I was going (probably) and to take those days off (just in case).
Now, Scott is completely supportive of the trip, but, when I asked him if I would have fun, he easily said: No.
Which is a reasonable response since he had to field my hysterical crying spell within three hours of arriving at BlogHer and only thirty minutes into the first party. In my defense, that was my ONLY crying spell. I think.
I also wonder if four days of writing in a (local) hotel room might do A LOT more for me than four days of networking. Since by “networking,” I mean standing in the hallway screwing up small talk and wishing I was home.
Although I feel less starry-eyed and more confident as to how I would spend my time at BlogHer.
And I still have a lot of business cards.
And I planned to attend one writing or blogging conference this year, and so far, there isn’t another one that fits my family’s schedule and my piques interests. (I’m open to suggestions though.)
But when I think about going, I remember that I’m still bringing me. And the whole thing is not my strong suit.
So I ask you, my trusted readers and friends, who know my trials and tribulations and penchant for being odd: Should I attend BlogHer? (Also, if you’re a blogger, are you going?)