I have been thinking a lot about getting a job. I mean, I have five jobs right now, but who’s counting? Or sleeping?
And then, today, while listening to NPR, and I found it.
The perfect job.
Here’s my craiglists ad:
WANTED: THINK TANK
I am seeking a position as a Think Tank-er.
I think A LOT. And I don’t mind tanks as long as there are air holes and not too much water (I’m not a big shower-er.)
I would like to telecommute (see previous parenthesis for why), but I will need a local office so I can feel more legitimate. Also, so I can watch my current obsession: Season two of Brothers & Sisters.
I would like a Tank that plays to my thinking strengths:
- I like to think about myself.
- I can also thinking about you and how I’m better/worse than you.
- I’m a talented RE-THINKER especially when it come to every life decision.
I’d prefer a liberal think tank since people agreeing with me makes me feel like I’m okay as a person. However, I am adept at arguing and/or pretending to be someone I’m not, so a conservative think tank is not a deal breaker.
Mostly, I would like to only think when it’s convenient for me and when I don’t have a migraine.
I will need $100,000 per year to think for you. If you add up my wasted education, you’re getting a deep discount in letters.
Job search plan B resume: Mother of Messiah(s), 2011 through Armageddon.