Seven Things I Shouldn’t Admit

Not including this picture
  1. Ska:  Loved it.  AND I STILL LOVE IT.  I attended Ska-lapalooza in New Hampshire.  And I only listen to old Mighty Mighty Bosstones (because they went TOO COMMERCIAL, MAN).  I can skank with the best of them.  (It’s a dance.  Not THAT kind of dance.)
  2. Spawn:  I cried when I finished seeing all the cartoon and real-actor movies because there are no more to see.  I wish they’d make more of those instead of Ironman-2.  (PS. According to Wiki: In 2001, Spawn appeared in a pornographic animation called “Soul Stuffer”.  SO THERE’S ANOTHER MOVIE! Don’t tell me to skank to it.)
  3. Smash Mouth: Even though they redid The Monkey’s hit I’m A Believer, I forgive them and continue to sing Allstar whenever I can subtly work it into a conversation on the playground.  Me: E! You went down the BIG slide! HEY NOW! YOU’RE AN ALLSTAR! (okay so this line sounded really familiar to me and it turns out I said it in my Music Loser post. BECAUSE IT’S TRUE AND A WEEKLY OCCURRENCE. So twice in my blog is actually me holding back)
  4. Sweetener:  I did a blind-folded sugar taste test about seven years ago.  (Because what else is there to do in a hospital at 3 a.m. while waiting for a baby to be born — and no, I was NOT the pregnant lady.  I was the lazy medical student in the cafeteria drinking coffee.)  I discovered that Equal is BY FAR the best of all the sweeteners including regular sugar.  And thank eight-pound-baby-jesus that I’m not on that awful unprocessed food kick anymore stuck with raw sugar and tastes-like-butt coffee until the last three sips when my teeth fall out from coffee syrup.
  5. Secrets: I seem to have this strange ability to suck secrets out of people.  I randomly discovered the identity of not one but TWO anonymous bloggers.  Not because I was trying.  I’m all for anonymity.  I just happened to comment something that led to them outing themselves to me. But it’s not just an unmasked blogger problem. I also have random acquaintances tell me the most intimate details of their lives.  And then never speak to me again.  I figure that some day I may need favors. LOTS OF THEM.
  6. Senator Dole:  I voted for him in 1996.  Did you forget that I was once an atheist Republican?  Obama is actually the first presidential hopeful who received my vote and ACTUALLY WON.  My tally: Dole, Nader, Kerry, Obama.
  7. Spinal Tap: I have never seen This Is Spinal Tap or The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I know this makes me lame, but now my lameness is at a point where remedying it seems nearly impossible. I HAVE been to raves. Does that help? Or at least explain the picture at the top?

This post was brought to you by the letter S and the number seven. For no apparent reason. Well, actually when I noticed the first three things that I shouldn’t admit began with S, I ran with it.  Ran to Awesomeville that is. Or Sawesomeville.

I probably shouldn’t have admitted to that last joke either.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

60 thoughts to “Seven Things I Shouldn’t Admit”

  1. Anonymous bloggers seem to slip and tell me their kid’s names all the time. I’m beginning to think it’s part of their marketing ploy

  2. People also tend to tell me secrets. Like big bad secrets that no one should know. And I love it. For some reason, I get incredibly happy knowing everyone else’s secrets. Makes me feel like my life isn’t so f’ed up and terrible. 🙂


    Now I must have you taken care of.

    And I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t know what “ska” is but at first thought it had something to do with chewing tobacco.

  4. I get Smash Mouth and Uncle Kracker confused. So it’s good to know which one sings ‘Allstar’ because whenever someone says, “Hey now,” I automatically follow it up with, “You’re an allstar!” And then I get the side-eye.

    Also, I’ve never seen Rocky Horror either. Except on Glee. Does that count? I did see Spinal Tap, but it was back in high school when I didn’t really understand its true satirical brilliance. I was just watching it so that I could then quote it (“Eleven. This one goes to eleven.”) and sound cool in the process.

  5. Pictures to Prove It! Bouncing Soles! (& I had to use wikipedia to get the plot for Rocky Horror when I watched the Glee episode. And I went to the gayest college on earth. I mean that in a good way. I still can’t believe I haven’t seen it either. We might be the only two Allies on earth with no RHPS street cred…)

    And I had to stop taking public transportation because of the overwhelmingly inappropriate secrets that became part of my world. Seriously. It was scary.

    Hey doppelganger!

    1. I am so happy. My favorite to play for the kids is Awfully Quiet. It’s like the perfect song when you have young kids. I like Dr. D a lot, too, but oy, the cursing.

  6. Dammit Janet,
    Great. JUST GREAT! After I wasted all that money on a mask and cape. Thank Gods I haven’t hired a sidekick yet.

    PS: Drug the children and rent “Rocky Horror” tonight.
    PPS: Do it!

  7. Spawn is awesome, so that makes you cool in my book. And yay to your last presidential vote. But I don’t think you’re missing out with Rocky Horror. Maybe it’s me but I totally didn’t get into it.

  8. I love that Smash Mouth song too! I am also glad you have sweetener in your house now instead of nasty non-working raw sugar. Those mornings were rough at your house!

  9. In 9th grade a friend and I decided to watch Rocky Horror. MISTAKE. I was a very sheltered child and it was insanely shocking. I’ve watched it a few more times since (including once at a viewing where it was also acted out and everyone participated) and I still don’t understand it. I think that’s way more embarrassing than never having seen it in the first place.

    (Does that count as me revealing a secret? I’m sorry.)

  10. I haven’t seen Spinal Tap or Rocky Horror either.

    I haven’t skanked or listened to ska in YEARS….but I used to love it. Maybe I need to revisit that today. hmmmmm

    I think that working lyrics into your normal conversation is a by-product of your desire to live in a musical. At least that is the excuse I give my husband when I start talking in lyrics.

    1. I do think that it’s musical related. Or like in There’s Something About Mary when the band would just start playing.

      And yes, you MUST break out the ska. FOR YOUR CHILD’S SAKE DON’T LET HER GROW UP SKA-LESS!

    1. This REALLY makes me wish that we lived closer. Because I would totally come. I’m so freaked out about having not ever gone and not knowing what to do that I worry I’ll NEVER do it.

      1. Honestly, it really is more fun to see it with people who’ve done it before than to try to go alone. You can watch it on Netflix but, without the excitement of fellow participants, you may be left scratching your head and wondering, “WHY?” The first time I watched it, that was my reaction. But my husband’s aunt is a huge fan, and she makes a point to go to a live show every year. It’s a blast. And it’s just as much about being ridiculously silly with your friends as it is about the movie.

        And if we did live closer, we’d totally go. It would rock. 🙂

        1. And PS: You’ve never met a group of people less likely to judge than RHPS people. They want you to have a good time. So even if you go and just watch, they’ll support you. Promise.

  11. Whatever you do, don’t watch Rocky Horror now. It’s too late, you’d be disappointed. Like too much hype… But don’t miss out on the next huge cult hits like Pulp Fiction you know what I mean? So when people ask if you you’ve seen Rocky Horror you can say “Dude, that’s so 80s, era of lame-o-rama movies, have YOU even heard of Bad Boy Bubby?” Ok, so the example is beyond beyond what you should see, but the bill fits. You know?

    And I’m sticking to regular sugar. Anything else is scary…

    p.s. I’ve outed myself to so many bloggers, maybe we secretly want to be discovered for who we really are!

  12. I was literally obsessed with Fighting Gravity in high school and college. I still “geek” out when I run into the lead singer. Secret’s out!

      1. They’re from Richmond and used to play at the Flood Zone and Friday Cheers all of the time. They were once known as Boy Oh Boy and then changed the name. Schiavone McGee is the lead singer and I had a major crush on him. In my college years, I’d run into him at Ukrops and in Carytown on occasion… not on purpose. 🙂

  13. At some point in my life I went on a crazy health kick and vowed to stop eating all artificial sweetners. I ended up cutting out coffee too because I realized that coffee was really just a vessel for my equal/splenda/sweet’nlow fix. Health kick ended with pregnancy and coffee/sweetner boycott ended with baby-induced exhaustion.

    I’ve never seen Spinal Tap either. Shhhhhhh.

    1. It’s good to know that insanity finds its level. I’m so happy to be back with Equal.

      PS. I won’t tell about Spinal Tap — although I’m not shocked that you would share it with me.

  14. I really like this idea and may just steal it for my own… calling it something totally different while giving you credit so as not to claim creative anonymity, which I’m all for but find hard to practice… kind of like coming up with my own ideas. That and SKA — I love ska too.

    1. What? I should’ve added wikipedia links…or you are just that fabulous and not dorky.

      PS. Your prolific comment made me smile. Since I was JUST comparing myself to the daily post people. Thank goodness you said that. You may have saved BOTH our sanity.

  15. Dear God this makes me love your awkward even more.

    The radio gets CRANKED when All Star comes on (much to the chagrin of everyone in the world).

    Your voting record mirrors mine EXACTLY (I thought I was a republican when I was 18 and could vote in 1996).

    And people tell me secrets too. Although I only know one anonymous blogger…and I am not sure if I am right about it.

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