My iPhone Is Mean To Me

I had my first fight with my BFF, also known as my iPhone.

Let’s back up.ย  One of my favorite features of the iPhone 4 is organizing my apps into folders like this:

What a nice and neat iPhone screen.

Until I take a closer look at my BFFs and my downloading and organizing decisions.

Here is a closer look at my Social Life folder:

Well, that's kinda embarrassing.

My social life includes Chipotle, ranking movies on Flixster and more takeout. Also, that is exactly as many apps as I have filed under weather:

I like my weather to be VERY accurate.

After reeling from that factoid, I move on to my Social Media folder to feel better. (Just like in real life.)

They both have SOCIAL in them so they must count toward my cool factor.

How great! Until I realize that my Social Media folder is not only the largest folder on my iPhone, but it contain not one, not two, but four separate apps to access Twitter JUST IN CASE THREE APPS GO DOWN. I’m now becoming concerned and a little offended.

So I move on to the bottom row of iPhone apps. For those sad people, unfamiliar with the iPhone, the bottom row is where an iPhone user can keep her four most-used apps for immediate accessibility.

In case you didn't notice the bottom row in the first picture, I'm posting it here again. Mostly for you Crapberry owners.

Well, I have a calendar, a web browser, email and Google maps. Because using my phone to make PHONE CALLS is not really a concern of mine. In fact, the PHONE OPTION is hidden under the folder โ€œPeopleโ€.

I should label it People Who Should Know Me Better Than To Call.

If I could, I would justify my lack-of-phone on my phone by labeling the four bottom apps Apps-I-Need-To-Dangerously-Access-In-The-Car. But the iPhone won’t let me label those in my defense.

Thanks a lot, iPhone, for organizing my life into Twitter and pathetic.

At least I’m never without burritos.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

20 thoughts to “My iPhone Is Mean To Me”

  1. Two things:
    1-what does the Chipotle app do?
    2-is this why you never return my texts? You have them hidden away in a folder rarely accessed?

    Haha hilarious post! My folders include such gems as “games” and “food”

  2. I still want an iPhone. but now I wonder: can you download other browsers to your iPhone? I just hate Safari.

    and when the day comes that you get out west, we’re getting you a better burrito than Chipotle. just sayin’.

  3. I love Chipotle and I wish we had one near my house. I love my iPhone 4 but I don’t have as many folders (or apps) as you do. All those folders confuse me and I forget where I put things.

  4. I love that your phone is filed in a folder, because you don’t use your phone as a phone.
    And your “social life” continues to crack me up – sorry to laugh!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I just updated my iPhone 3G to ios 4 and finally got the folders. But now I have 14 folders. I think there’s something wrong with me, I’m an appaholic.

    You know what the iPhone really needs? It’s that message that comes up and says you have unused icons on your desktop. Then you could put all your old apps that you no longer have any interest in and should really delete but you’re too lazy to take the time to do it into a folder.

    @andygirl try the Opera browser for the iPhone.

  6. I feel as if we were separated at birth, i have these same thoughts and my phone looks almost identcal (except for the background picture cause that would just be creepy). And like others, I am pissed that I didn’t know about the chipolte app.

  7. I’m pretty sure, if I ever figured out how to organize my apps into categories, that my Social Life folder would be even more pathetic than yours. But everyone needs burritos, so you should have no shame about that.

  8. Okay, first I was going to say it was cool that you don’t use your phone for you know, calling people.

    But, then I realized you called me sad for not having an iphone.


    Now, you should buy me one. You know, so I’m not sad anymore.

  9. I love this for soooo many reasons.

    1. We (well, my husband) shares your adoration for Chipotle.
    2. Having just wrote a post about my love/hate with my semi-smart phone, this makes me feel more loserish.

  10. My husband loves to organizes his apps into folders and organized mine into folders on my phone. I don’t like doing that because I feel like I can’t find what I’m looking for easily. Maybe I don’t like doing that because I’m afraid of what my social life would like on there…

  11. My iphone is also my bff, but I’ve got an old one, and ready to turn it in for a new bff. My husband gets jealous of it- it’s gotten to the point where I have to hide in the bathroom to get on twitter and FB.

    Solidarity my friend. I am also pathetic.

  12. Those folders… just an example of why I have an extreme dislike of Apple products. Like I can’t name my own folders. This is why I own an Android phone. So I can call my folders things like “Why I Am Fat” and “Distractions From Parenting. “

  13. I <3 that you have a reference folder. also, love the Chipotle app – it makes me feel special when i walk right up to the front of the line to pick up ๐Ÿ™‚ Also, i copied you by moving my phone from the quick access row – great idea.

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