If You Don’t Have A Sister, Get One

My sister’s birthday was Friday. She turned 107 years old.

Wait, I mean 27 years old. (Having a sister with a blog is FUN!)

When my parents brought her home from the hospital, I was 5 and a half. The oldest. The greatest. THE ONLY.

About 6 weeks into this bundle of joy’s stay, I inquired: When are we returning her?

Never? So I decided to love her.

The hats were her idea.

Oh and I terrorize the crap out of her.

Once we were racing to the bathroom, and I made it to the toilet first. As she was leaving, I said: It’s okay to pee in the bathtub. She paused. The next bathroom was probably 30 feet away, but lazy runs strong in our genes. Guess who peed in the bathtub?

A favorite game that I happily taught my friends was Trip The Sister. It took place between a couch and a glass coffee table. It never ended well. For her. And me… if I got caught.

The infamous couch. I'm pretty sure Katie is screaming.

In my defense, I also taught her how to play Heart and Soul on the piano and how important it was to know every single lyric of Paula Abdul’s album Forever Your Girl.

And to be fair, I begged Katie and her friends to play Barbies with me long, long, LONG after my friends had grown out of it. (Um, 12 years olds are allowed to love Barbie, okay? My 7th grade friends were just LAME. But I’m also okay with never talking about this again.)

But eventually she grew taller and stronger than me so I had to resort to giving her beer and taking her to Halloween frat parties.

I wore chaps. Seriously.

We both made it through alive and with better hair than we ever had growing up.

When I began my blog, my sister edited EVERY SINGLE POST for me. She told her friends to read it. She fielded extraordinarily boring phone calls of my bloggy failures and successes.

Late Enough wouldn’t exist if my sister hadn’t been my cheerleader during those first few months of having no idea what I was doing or why.

No one makes me laugh harder and longer than Katie.

No one is as kind.

Or as good with our children.

No one is a better sister.

Katie, you still kick all my imaginary sisters’ butts every day.

Happy Birthday!

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

48 thoughts to “If You Don’t Have A Sister, Get One”

  1. I love my sisters, too, and I love this post, but I am overwhelmed by how NOT ugly either of you two were. EVER. Like, beautiful children (and now beautiful ladies). Did you not have an awkward phase? Because mine lasted from about age three to age eighteen.

  2. i have peed in a bathtub before as well….but i think i was 18 at a keg party, lol!! post def made me think of my sis though, and i teared up too!

    1. aw, we try. When looking through pics, I found the most hilarious picture that would’ve moved me from runner up to winner on Raw Photo.
      PS. I forgot what the picture was of… I’m so old.

  3. Those childhood years sound pretty normal to me. It was just me and my younger brother, and I did many of those things to him too. Despite our early fights, today we are very close.

    1. I’m not sure if I’m willing to use you as my “normal gauge” but yes, I think that our relationship is normal. And we are very close today. In fact the only time we weren’t that close was when I was in college and she was in middle school. Not a lot in common.

    1. I’m not giving her up! But I will say a prayer that your sister gets sober so you have a chance at a relationship. Addiction sucks.

      We actually have an album with pictures of us from each year starting when my sister was born. It was the best idea — my mom did it for me ten years ago, and I’ve been adding to it ever since.

  4. Ahhhh how sweet! Sounds like you have one awesome sister. Sisters do ROCK! I have two older sisters and they ROCK as well. They made growing up fun and adventurous. I can honestly say as we have grown older we have grown closer. And a little less kicking, punching, and trying to stick my head in the toilet goes on now.

    1. It makes me feel so much better that you mentioned the head in the toilet line. And yes, it’s easier for you but tough on us older sisters to not be able to keep you uppity siblings in your place. Haha.

  5. Awww…this was really sweet. My sister is 5 1/2 years younger than me too and she is my closest friend. She writes a weekly feature on my blog called “Ask Dr. B” since she is a developmental psychologist. I don’t know anyone else that I could ask to do a part-time job for free.

    Confession: I too played with Barbies way past the time I knew I should no longer tell anyone that I still played with Barbies.

    How do you do that? First the nose picking thing and now this. I am nervous for your next post. And so is my grooming habits, my bedside reading material, and my occasional (ha) flatulence.

    1. Okay you are freaking ME out.
      Do you have an iPhone 4? Because then tomorrow’s post may just push us over the edge.

      Ps. Do you also not brush your hair? People are always shocked that I don’t need to do it

  6. aw, what a great tribute. my own sister? she’s a total c-bag, but that’s not something I like to dwell on. I have “sisters” that i’ve chosen in life 😉

  7. I once peed in the kitchen sink for an entire year (Not a year, straight, but every morning for a year. That’d be A LOT of pee!) because when I wake up in the morning I can’t hold it for even one second and I was newly married to someone who hogged our only bathroom. One time he walked out while I was sitting in the sink, turned around, and just walked back into the bathroom.

    Yep, peeing in the sink is where it’s at.

    Jealous of the sisterhood. Wonderful post, Alex. Happy birthday, Katie.

    1. I don’t know if I’ve ever peed in a sink. But I did convince my sister to pee in a trash can once. It was made of wicker. My mom was not pleased.

      And thanks. (for the few last lines. not for peeing in a sink. although an entire year of it IS pretty impressive. where’s the 365-day-blog?)

  8. Actually, come to think of it, YOU made me do some weird stuff as a kid! WTH?! I’m totally normal without your influence 😉

  9. You guys were (and I’m sure still are) adorable together! When I was little I fantasized about having a twin sister- obviously to no avail. I’ve heard that only children stick together. My boyfriend and my best friend are both only children too. Hmm…

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