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If You Don’t Have A Sister, Get One

by Alex Iwashyna

in Is It Just Me?

My sister’s birthday was Friday. She turned 107 years old.

Wait, I mean 27 years old. (Having a sister with a blog is FUN!)

When my parents brought her home from the hospital, I was 5 and a half. The oldest. The greatest. THE ONLY.

About 6 weeks into this bundle of joy’s stay, I inquired: When are we returning her?

Never? So I decided to love her.

The hats were her idea.

Oh and I terrorize the crap out of her.

Once we were racing to the bathroom, and I made it to the toilet first. As she was leaving, I said: It’s okay to pee in the bathtub. She paused. The next bathroom was probably 30 feet away, but lazy runs strong in our genes. Guess who peed in the bathtub?

A favorite game that I happily taught my friends was Trip The Sister. It took place between a couch and a glass coffee table. It never ended well. For her. And me… if I got caught.

The infamous couch. I'm pretty sure Katie is screaming.

In my defense, I also taught her how to play Heart and Soul on the piano and how important it was to know every single lyric of Paula Abdul’s album Forever Your Girl.

And to be fair, I begged Katie and her friends to play Barbies with me long, long, LONG after my friends had grown out of it. (Um, 12 years olds are allowed to love Barbie, okay? My 7th grade friends were just LAME. But I’m also okay with never talking about this again.)

But eventually she grew taller and stronger than me so I had to resort to giving her beer and taking her to Halloween frat parties.

I wore chaps. Seriously.

We both made it through alive and with better hair than we ever had growing up.

When I began my blog, my sister edited EVERY SINGLE POST for me. She told her friends to read it. She fielded extraordinarily boring phone calls of my bloggy failures and successes.

Late Enough wouldn’t exist if my sister hadn’t been my cheerleader during those first few months of having no idea what I was doing or why.

No one makes me laugh harder and longer than Katie.

No one is as kind.

Or as good with our children.

No one is a better sister.

Katie, you still kick all my imaginary sisters’ butts every day.

Happy Birthday!

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{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Katie March 20, 2011 1

Awwwwww Im tearing up!!! You’re a close 2nd best sister :) Haha
Thanks so much I love you!!!!!!

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Late Enough March 20, 2011 2

Dude, Scott teared up when he read it, too!

Thanks for being awesome. I hope it made you feel close to as special as you are. Happy birthday!

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Katie March 20, 2011 3

Ha Laura just texted me she started to tear up reading it too! I feel very loved!

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Dolli-Mama March 20, 2011 4

Happy Birthday Katie! What a great tribute, Alex!
Dolli-Mama recently posted..ME! Challengs Week 11- Yoga

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Late Enough March 20, 2011 5

Thanks! Finding the old pictures to scan into the computer was the best part. Oh, well, being nice to my sister was the best part. The pics were second best.

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The Sweetest March 20, 2011 6

I love my sisters, too, and I love this post, but I am overwhelmed by how NOT ugly either of you two were. EVER. Like, beautiful children (and now beautiful ladies). Did you not have an awkward phase? Because mine lasted from about age three to age eighteen.
The Sweetest recently posted..Ticking Walls- a Rite of Passage- and Creepy Future SciFi

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Late Enough March 20, 2011 7

I had a SWEET perm that you could’ve shorn off to make a sweater throughout middle school. But my sister has always been cute.
She’s a jerk like that.

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caitlin March 20, 2011 8

i have peed in a bathtub before as well….but i think i was 18 at a keg party, lol!! post def made me think of my sis though, and i teared up too!

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Late Enough March 20, 2011 9

Well, the bathtub was probably cleaner than the toilet at that point.

And sisters are the best!

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andygirl March 20, 2011 10

oh you two are freaking adorable!
andygirl recently posted..Song Sunday- World Spins Madly On

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Late Enough March 20, 2011 11

aw, we try. When looking through pics, I found the most hilarious picture that would’ve moved me from runner up to winner on Raw Photo.
PS. I forgot what the picture was of… I’m so old.

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Matty March 20, 2011 12

Those childhood years sound pretty normal to me. It was just me and my younger brother, and I did many of those things to him too. Despite our early fights, today we are very close.
Matty recently posted..States

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 13

I’m not sure if I’m willing to use you as my “normal gauge” but yes, I think that our relationship is normal. And we are very close today. In fact the only time we weren’t that close was when I was in college and she was in middle school. Not a lot in common.

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Carolyn (temysmom) March 21, 2011 14

My entire life I wanted a sister (had two brothers – yuk!). I ended up having three daughters – go figure. I love watching them interact with each other. They fight hard and love even harder.

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 15

I always wanted an older brother!

Your girls sound so sweet. Sisters are special!

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TheKitchenWitch March 21, 2011 16

Can we make a trade? I get Katie and you get my ex-crackhead, alcoholic sister? C’mon, please?

What a lovely tribute. I love that picture of you on the couch.

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 17

I’m not giving her up! But I will say a prayer that your sister gets sober so you have a chance at a relationship. Addiction sucks.

We actually have an album with pictures of us from each year starting when my sister was born. It was the best idea — my mom did it for me ten years ago, and I’ve been adding to it ever since.

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AbsolutelyKathy March 21, 2011 18

Ahhhh how sweet! Sounds like you have one awesome sister. Sisters do ROCK! I have two older sisters and they ROCK as well. They made growing up fun and adventurous. I can honestly say as we have grown older we have grown closer. And a little less kicking, punching, and trying to stick my head in the toilet goes on now.
AbsolutelyKathy recently posted..A Little Homemade

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 19

It makes me feel so much better that you mentioned the head in the toilet line. And yes, it’s easier for you but tough on us older sisters to not be able to keep you uppity siblings in your place. Haha.

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Megan (Best of Fates) March 21, 2011 20

Photo of chaps requested.

Please?

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 21

I’ll look. But be prepared for awesomeness.

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Krystyn March 21, 2011 22

What a good sister! Happy birthday.

I do think sisters are the best.
Krystyn recently posted..Mommy and Me Monday- Me and The Little The 57th

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 23

They definitely are!

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Mommy Shorts March 21, 2011 24

Awww…this was really sweet. My sister is 5 1/2 years younger than me too and she is my closest friend. She writes a weekly feature on my blog called “Ask Dr. B” since she is a developmental psychologist. I don’t know anyone else that I could ask to do a part-time job for free.

Confession: I too played with Barbies way past the time I knew I should no longer tell anyone that I still played with Barbies.

How do you do that? First the nose picking thing and now this. I am nervous for your next post. And so is my grooming habits, my bedside reading material, and my occasional (ha) flatulence.
Mommy Shorts recently posted..My Babys Talking! With No Help From Bruce Willis- Thank You Very Much

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 25

Okay you are freaking ME out.
Do you have an iPhone 4? Because then tomorrow’s post may just push us over the edge.

Ps. Do you also not brush your hair? People are always shocked that I don’t need to do it

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MommaKiss March 21, 2011 26

aw, what a great tribute. my own sister? she’s a total c-bag, but that’s not something I like to dwell on. I have “sisters” that i’ve chosen in life ;)
MommaKiss recently posted..The state of things

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 27

I think that our family of choice is just as important as our family of origin. I happened to luck out that I’d choose Katie!

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Walt March 21, 2011 28

WOW! Your sister has a nice rack (I teared up.)
Walt recently posted..Obama Attacks Libya

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 29

Watch it!

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Walt March 21, 2011 30

Really??? Thanks!!! :)
Walt recently posted..My Surprise Birthday Party

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Walt March 22, 2011 31
Shanon March 21, 2011 32

WANTED: A sister. Will consider trading brother.

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 33

Haha! They do rock although I did want an older brother for a long time.

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liz March 21, 2011 34

Happy birthday to your sis! I love your Easter bonnet – I had the same type of Easter hats!
liz recently posted..My Personal Love-Hate Relationship

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 35

I hope the hats were for you and not your kids. #babytorture (yes I did just hashtag my reply. What of it?!?)

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Erica March 21, 2011 36

Hooray I love this. I feel the same about my little sis and I also took her to a costume frat party.

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 37

Hilarious! Did you wear chaps too?

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Walt March 21, 2011 38

Hmmmm?
Walt recently posted..My Surprise Birthday Party

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fyeahmotherhood March 21, 2011 39

I once peed in the kitchen sink for an entire year (Not a year, straight, but every morning for a year. That’d be A LOT of pee!) because when I wake up in the morning I can’t hold it for even one second and I was newly married to someone who hogged our only bathroom. One time he walked out while I was sitting in the sink, turned around, and just walked back into the bathroom.

Yep, peeing in the sink is where it’s at.

Jealous of the sisterhood. Wonderful post, Alex. Happy birthday, Katie.
fyeahmotherhood recently posted..Do You Wanna Get Married- Or Run Away

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Late Enough March 21, 2011 40

I don’t know if I’ve ever peed in a sink. But I did convince my sister to pee in a trash can once. It was made of wicker. My mom was not pleased.

And thanks. (for the few last lines. not for peeing in a sink. although an entire year of it IS pretty impressive. where’s the 365-day-blog?)

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Katie March 21, 2011 41

Totally forgot about that!! Man I did some weird stuff as a kid.

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Katie March 21, 2011 42

Actually, come to think of it, YOU made me do some weird stuff as a kid! WTH?! I’m totally normal without your influence ;)

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Lady Jennie March 22, 2011 43

Aw. My sis is 6 years younger and played barbies with me when I was 12 too.

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Skye March 22, 2011 44

You guys were (and I’m sure still are) adorable together! When I was little I fantasized about having a twin sister- obviously to no avail. I’ve heard that only children stick together. My boyfriend and my best friend are both only children too. Hmm…
Skye recently posted..Pierced

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Kristin Shaw October 24, 2013 45

I loved this post! I stumbled across it in your “Not Enough?” suggestions. I feel the same way about my sister, who will turn 40 next week.

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