We Are Sending Our Cat To A Montessori School. Seriously.

Y’all remember my cat, Calliope, who has peed on everything but cat litter even when placed in a small bathroom with her litter box?

That sweet cat who had to be moved into the dog cage for her protection because she went nuts one day and hid in the attic of my neighbor’s garage for two weeks without eating?

This is the calico who destroyed EVERY RUG WE OWNED BUT THE ONE THAT WE GAVE AWAY with her aroma-du-cat-bladder and now WE DON’T BUY RUGS?

And to whom our our animal-adoring-vet finally said to us: I would’ve never put up with her as long as you have.

Well, doubters (that would be me and Scott), we found her a NEW HOME! A barn home. A MONTESSORI BARN. The animals chose their own work!

Or it’s a Montessori school on a farm with a barn.

And now with a cat that pees on everything. For FREE!

I wonder if they’ll add that to the brochure:

I’d like to say that we tried everything over the last seven years before coming to this point.

But we didn’t try toilet training. On a human toilet. So you are now free to judge us. (if you can’t see the how-to video, click here)

PS. It’s hard to put on my big girl pants and give my cat a better life than a dog cage or our backyard with a makeshift cat house under the deck. But I am beyond grateful to the people who are allowing me to do that for Calliope. And I am heartbroken to lose my friend of nearly eleven years. May you teach the children well, my furry friend.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

27 thoughts to “We Are Sending Our Cat To A Montessori School. Seriously.”

  1. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve had to say goodbye to your feline friend (pets really are a part of the family, aren’t they?), that must have been a really hard thing to do. As hard as it is, I agree that this seems to be what will give her the very best life possible…good for you all!

  2. Sounds like a good solution for all. Plus, its the beginning of a new career for Calliope. She’s been a stay at home cat now for eleven years. She’s probably ready to get back into the work force.

  3. My daughter just started Montessori, I hope she doesn’t start peeing on rugs. Ha ha But seriously, way to go! I love cats, and I don’t think I would have put up with either. I’m with the vet. Sometimes animals just need a barn.

    So sorry that you’re losing your friend though. My cat died two years ago, and I still miss him.

  4. Is this a real barn or is it a “barn” and “farm” where you convince yourself that’s where she is going. Cause that’s where we sent our dog. He went to the Shi Tzu rescue but we like to say he is on a farm somewhere running free

    1. No. It really is a barn and farm with chickens and cows and a cat named Calliope who pees. And children! Who also pee! She’ll fit right in, don’t you think?

      PS> Why did you have to give up your Shi Tzu?

  5. He was an angry angry little dog…I had him for 9 years but he used to bite everyone and everything. A little yappy dog who bit peoples heels, was over protective of me, the house, his toys, anything he perceived as his…except our daughter…he hated her. We worked for 11 months with him (talking to the vet, calling in an expert) after she was born. (plus doing all the things they say to get your dog ready for a baby). And he was just tense and unhappy. He tried to attack her and when I grabbed him by the collar to protect her, he went after me. I called the rescue that day. He was gone by the week-end. I balled like a baby, but I know it was best for us as a family and him. He was too angry and tense all the time. So I try to convince myself that he was adopted by a cute little old farmer’s wife and is chasing chickens.

  6. Ohh. How sad. When I first got my dog- having never had a pet before in my life, I should add- I purposefully didn’t get her microchipped, just in case I decided I didn’t want her and she was too big a pain in the ass.

    I’ve since outgrown that, and would be so heartbroken if I had to give her away. She also has some incontinence issues. She wets her bed.

    (shhhh…she’s really quite embarrassed by it)

  7. It’s a hard choice but it’s the right one. I still don’t like that I had to give our cats up because Alex was allergic to them. Right choice, hated it.

  8. Oh what a hard decision to have to make!!! I’m so sorry! Our dog, Lola, tried to bite our son a few times so we had to send her to a new home in Texas (we are in NYC) and it tore us up! I still feel like a terrible dog mommy but, frankly, I saw her over Christmas and she is living the high life, probably wondering why we couldn’t have sent her sooner! So I’m sure Calliope will be very very happy!

  9. Those darn big girl pants!! Funny, one of my hubby’s co-workers told him today to put on his big boy pants – needless to say he wasn’t too pleased…. Darn pants getting in the way of life!!

  10. she will be getting such a cushy life. and think of the quality education she’ll get!

    I went to a Montessori school from preschool through 1st grade. we totally had a little farm. I remember getting to school one day and the goat was gone. I asked an aid where he was and she told me solemnly, “he passed away.” I was like, huh? so I asked my teacher and she told me he died. I was like, oh! I know what *that* means.

    I have no clue why that’s my most vivid Montessori memory. dumb teacher moment.

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