My Website Crashed And The World Ended

The worst email/DM/text I have ever gotten:

Is your website is down?

I’ve gotten the message in the car, at friends’ homes, in the middle of playing football with E and at 11 o’clock at night.

In other words, I’ve almost gotten into a car accident, stolen my friends’ computers, threw the football far enough to give me time to run to my computer and back before E could retrieve it, and not slept.  Because my fans in India are just heading over there at 11 p.m.!

I once lost all my content. ALL MY CONTENT. For five hours. FIVE HOURS. A fiery pit of doom stretched out before me. I called every person I knew who had used the word CODING and begged them to save me. No one would or could. (PS. I discovered that I had accidentally moved my content folder. So I moved it back. {sigh})

Finally, I signed up for INSTA-CHAT with my website server so I had someone to freak out WITH.  And perhaps someone who would help:

Pete: Hi, how can I help?

(Oh! It’s already working!)

Me: my website is running really slow or not loading at all

{crying}

Pete: What’s your domain name?

Me: lateenough.com

Me: of course now that i asked you, it seems to be running at a more normal speed. i swear for the last 20 minutes i havent been able to do anything on it

Pete: hehe, I’m still checking the server’s history to see what I can find though! 🙂

Me: thanks!

(A million years go by… seriously. I’ve died and came back to life because a million years from now we can DO that sort of thing.)

Me: are you sure you aren’t just reading my blog? it IS kinda funny.

Pete: everything seems ok, web server and mysql’s load has been quite slow.

(I totally caught him reading my blog.)

Pete: Perhaps the issue was network related…if it persists, please run a trace route and send me the results

And then we were disconnected.  But since I know he’s a fan, I thought I’d finish up our conversation right here:

Hi again Pete!

Glad you thought my site was SUPER AWESOME!  Please don’t keep it for yourself by breaking it anymore.  You aren’t the only Pete in the sea.  Also, I have no idea what a trace route is.  Or how to find you.  But I’ll just keep signing into chat until you appear.  I’m sure Brandon and Emily don’t mind my constant YOU’RE NOT PETE chat messages.  And you just keep pretending that “mysql’s loading” and “web serving” means something.

Sincerely,
Me


PS. I love you guys. Which has nothing to do with anything. Probably.
PPS. That PS was not part of the letter to Pete. It was to you. Although Pete reads my blog so it was also to him but mostly to you.
PPPS. It’s after midnight so I’m going to bed. Please do not hold me accountable for the PSs because I just wrote them for no reason. Well, maybe for the reason that I love you and Valentine’s Day is this month.
PPPPS. Actually, I thought of the Valentine’s Day excuse just now.
PPPPPS. Good night.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

22 thoughts to “My Website Crashed And The World Ended”

  1. This is hilarious. Of course my first thought was also, WTH is a trace route? Also, I said a prayer of thanks that mine hasn’t yet gone down. But now you know it will.

    Last weekend I attended a one-to-one workshop at the Apple Store so that I could learn even more about the nectar that is my new MacBook Air, and we were using my blog as a test for something. The guy helping me was a young guy – maybe 25. I was pretty self-conscious about the whole bloody thing.

  2. You never fail to make me laugh. Those online chat tech support guys are fun….unless they’re jerks. But, it’s always hard to tell if they’re being jerks or if the chat is just not coming across right. Glad the site’s back to normal.

  3. It’s pretty much terrifying when the blog breaks, isn’t it? I’ve had a couple mini-freak outs in the past few weeks. But nothing as bad as this.

  4. Yikes! Thankfully I’ve not had that happen. But it’s part of the reason I haven’t switched to my own domain. I need to buy it now for the day I get brave enough to do it, but not sure that will ever happen. If Blogger goes down, I can just blame them. 🙂

  5. *HUG*

    Website problems are SO terrifying – and also weird, because it makes you freak out beyond belief yet all non-blog people are like, “calm down, it’s no big deal.”

    But it’s a big deal.

    And I’m so glad you’ve returned to us.

    p.s. Pete, do you read the comments? If I have a problem, do you think I could call you? I could really use a supportive, computer-friendly boy.
    p.p.s. Pete, I feel as though our bond is strong already. Brace yourself.

  6. Lol, see we can so get the panic that would cause. I once accidently erased code on my blog and made my background go away. Which means I was running around the house yelling my words are gone! My Words are gone!
    No one really paid attention. Glad your site is up now btw. (Dont make us call you too Pete)

  7. Oh no! Glad it got fixed… I remember when I bought my domain name and switched over. I lost all of my beloved comments for a few days… And then they magically appeared again!

  8. Worst. Nightmare.

    And one of the few not covered in my Disaster Preparedness Plan (DPP). Mostly because I have no idea what trace routes and mysqals are. In fact, as you must know at this point, it’s a wonder I haven’t accidentally blown up the entire internet at this point.

    Or switched the whole dang thing to Pirate Speak.

    Thank God for Pete!

  9. I’ve felt your pain and anxiety. It happened to me a month or so ago. Except the live chat guy’s name was Harry- and HE’S the one who crashed it. I think they just give the same names to everyone, because when Harry came back on, I refused to talk to him and wanted to talk to someone else, because he crashed my website- but then he was like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about- I don’t know you.”

    I was mean as you could be on a live chat.

  10. Happy Valentines day bloggidy love to you too…and to Pete…..because if you ever have to get that whole trace thingy fixed, I want him to feel the love and fix it quickly.

    Scary scary moment. I would have freaked out.

  11. Pete totally giggled when he said “hehe.” I’m not sure why that made me laugh so much, but it did.

    But then he totally tried to cover the giggle by busting out big words like tracing and whatnot.

    Whatever, Pete, we know you giggle.

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