What Worse Than Your Mother-In-Law Moving In? Probably Her Dog.

My mother-in-law’s dog, Misha, is staying with us for the week. He came with a set of instructions like She’s not really on a schedule and She is totally crate-trained.

Dog As Hat
She looks like an innocent hat. AT FIRST.

We were given further instruction by unnamed sources on things like the MIL/Misha version of crate-training involves building a sound-proof bunker. And living in it. Unless you find EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM soothing.

Oh and Misha doesn’t respond to the command COME. Or COME HERE. Or GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW. Or IF YOU WAKE UP THE CHILDREN, I WILL MURDER YOU. She does, however, respond to being chases up and down the stairs repeatedly until you need to lay down. Then she’ll lay down next to you in the hopes of being pet.

So I don’t know why I was shocked when my MIL’s response after I emailed her pictures of Misha playing with the children was three lines long. So 1/3 was taken up by: Any accidents?

I had been warned.

At least my daughter has learned some key developmental phrases such as STOP IT and NO MISHA

These are followed by hysterical tears because when you’re not even three feet tall, you only see:

Holy crap.

And my daughter’s tears are understood by the dog as KEEP JUMPING UP ON ME UNTIL A LARGER PERSON PUSHES YOU AWAY. THEN JUMP ON THEM UNTIL THEY FORCE YOU TO LAY DOWN. THEN ROLLOVER FOR TUMMY RUBS.

sigh

And I know that Misha doesn’t MEAN to scare N. He just wants to kiss her! And play with her!

Probably

And while we haven’t stepped in poop yet, we are training her to follow the scent of my neighborhood dogs and whine at our poop-leaving neighbors all night long.

If this works, MISHA FOR LIFE!

Title disclaimer: I actually have a nice very relationship with my MIL. The title refers to OTHER mother-in-laws. Probably yours.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

28 thoughts to “What Worse Than Your Mother-In-Law Moving In? Probably Her Dog.”

  1. Misha sounds a little schizo. and by that I mean, like a dog. JUST KIDDING! I love dogs. when they’re trained. but Misha *does* make a nice hat, you have to admit.

  2. Love the pictures. Totally cracking up over the teeth.

    It’s funny…Elizabeth has been giving Maggie the evil eye ever since she started walking. When Maggie walks by her, E grabs her arm, frowns and says, “Ow!” We didn’t quite know what was going on until I was sitting next to her one day as Maggie walked by. Apparently the billy club that pretends to be a tail has been hitting our three footer whenever they pass.

      1. That means her crate is too big. Dogs will not mess where they sleep…so she is able to mess and then get away from it. Just FYI.

        If it’s a little crate…then she’s just nuts. 😉

  3. Okay, okay she may not be PERFECT but she’s pretty darn cute!! Hey, no accidents is important. You guys were great to take her and we really appreciate it. Love you guys. THE MIL
    P.S. I love you guys but have no desire to move in … no worries !!!!!

  4. Oh comedy. I too have a great relationship with my MIL, but it doesn’t mean I’d want a roommate…or another dog. That is true love so you MUST have a good relationship with her. Now, is the dog sweet? Might she bite or is it just the energy factor?

  5. You gave me the perfect visual…
    E: “DAWG MAMA. DAWG!”
    E: “HOLY CRAP!!!!”
    I have a medium sized dog (Boston Terrier) who is now finally crate trained. We have agreed to three options for her “business”. Outside, on her Potty Patch and on the towel Dad provides in the bathroom. Her jumping up and down because we’re home has slacked off and is being replaced with the humping of the arm. I think my dog is a lesbian.

    1. I’m hoping you’re referring to your MIL! 🙂

      Of course, if she has a BAD pit because she has failed to TRAIN, EXERCISE, and SOCIALIZE it, etc., and she either can’t or won’t control it, then I totally agree with you!

  6. You could always put her in a harness, buy her a little wagon and let her give your kids rides through the house. Granted, she DOES look a little small for this, but I bet it’d wear her out REAL quick.

    Something to think about.

  7. My mother brings her little black Pomeranian over when she watches the boys on drill weekend. He and my cat play tag. It’s hilarious to watch a 10 pound cat chase a 5 pound dog around the living room.

  8. I think I adore your mother-in-law.

    And hey, people. Pits can be great dogs. Or they can be holy terrors. This is true of ALL dogs. And the difference lies in the action or inaction of PEOPLE. I’ve got a pit mix that is WONDERFUL with my kids. That doesn’t mean I don’t watch and monitor CONSTANTLY– as I do with ALL dogs. My neighbor had a yorkie who TERRIFIED me because of my children. That dog wasn’t physically imposing, but she had TEETH and she didn’t mind using them. (I am talking PUNCTURES. On CHILDREN. Don’t tell me small dogs can’t be dangerous.) I wouldn’t let my kids be anywhere near that dog because I didn’t trust it, and I didn’t trust the owners to intervene quickly enough (or at all, to be honest) to keep the dog from escalating.

    This is not meant to reflect negatively on your MIL’s dog, or any other cute fluffy dog. I just get on a soapbox when I hear people imply that pitbulls are inherently more dangerous than other breeds. And don’t underestimate the cute fluffy ones- they all have teeth.

    As for Mother-in-Laws, however…….

  9. That photo of MIsha is totally scary. I may have peed my pants a little.

    One time we watched a friends dog, a pug. This dog came with 3 full pages of detailed instructions, treats, toys, blankets, pillows and her own playpen. Keep in mind that we also have two dogs, also pugs. I think that by now we know what we are doing.

    Also, this dog was the dumbest dog on earth. True. Story.

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