I don’t know where you hide presents for your children. But ours go in the zombie apocalypse stash. Which is how we found the leaking eight gallons of spring water.
I was a little shocked that someone is already sabotaging us. Thank goodness we hadn’t put the stolen antibiotics and pain medication in there yet. Related: We haven’t stolen them yet either. This post is like your Minority Report. Remember that guy Tom Cruise? He’s TOTALLY in that movie! So are some bald twins. And a giant marble game. Which my kids got for Christmas. They actually got three. Oops. Santa needs to give out his list to grandma. Although that wouldn’t have solved the same grandma buying them two.
So after solving crimes that haven’t happened, we created a model for living in a tree.
And since I built this with a screw driver, my children and swear words, I’m pretty sure that we can recreate it in giant oak tree.
Although our first choice tree may or may not be dying. When we had the tree doctor (suspicious concept in and of itself) give it a little trim, a very worried neighbor yelled: YOU AREN’T CUTTING IT DOWN, ARE YOU?
Me: Um, if the tree’s diagnosis is untreatable psychosis leading it to collapse on your home and kill you all? Yes. But if it’s old tree that with a good oxygen tank and some support hoes will survive another ten years? The tree stays. YOU however should get off my lawn.
My cat, Calliope, has already scouted out the other tree JUST IN CASE.
But I’m pretty sure it’s just for her and her two cohorts, Loki and Juno. Maybe my daughter. She’s been meowing like a champ.
And, just in case we have to go in for covert zombie operations, I may order a few of these hats.
Also, I’m creating a list of people who I’d feel comfortable letting my children bite.
All-in-all, the zombie preparations continue. Although I live in great fear that the vampires will beat them to it. Vampires are competitive. And are pretty pissed about the Twilight series.
So I added some garlic and Scott has taken up woodcarving again.
See you at the apocalypse! Don’t forget to bring your own ladder!