Last night, we had to run to the pharmacy and grocery store. N has croup and we were out of coffee. (I’m not sure which one is more horrible.)
My son was back in his yellow dress. I was relieved to see him playing as he sees fit — that other children’s slights have not stayed with him as they do with me. But as we got ready to go, I gently asked him: Do you want to take off the princess dress?
E: No.
My heart tightened as I contemplated a Saturday night at a busy strip mall. Scott asked if we should remind him of the possible consequences. I wracked my brain to recall the worst in humanity and the sharpest of comebacks.
Random stranger: You shouldn’t let him wear a dress.
Me: If it keeps him from growing up to be like you, we’re all good.
Random stranger: Faggot.
Me: Ignorant prick.
But I don’t know want him to think that these people are reasons to stay home. To change. To be afraid. I want him to see a world of possibilities and goodness, and parents who can believe with him.
I could stand up for us. But what if a child said something again? I can’t cut down other people’s children like that. I just can’t be that adult.
So I ran upstairs and stood at my closet. I took a deep breath and ran back down.
E looked in my arms and his eye’s lit up: You’re going to wear you princess dress, too?
Me: Yes, baby, I am.
My daughter looked up and said: OOOOH… Me dress?
So I ran and got the other princess dress in their dress-up bin.
My husband walked into the room full of sequins and satin and said: Do you have something I can wear?
With my heart bursting, I said: Hold on.
I gathered my tulle and headed back to my closet again.
We squeeze Scott into a blue and purple stretchy dress and out we went into that hard angry world.
I tweeted and facebooked: “The entire family is wearing princess dresses. #solidarity”
I didn’t take many pictures because I was too busy being a part of a family. A family who rocks. And to whom not a single person spoke or smirked. Most smiled! And to the ones who didn’t? I smiled at them anyway. Because that’s what princesses do.
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YOU GUYS ROCK. And although I know it’s a tiny bit chauvanistic of me, I’m giving double points to Scott for being a dad who will wear a dress in public.
That’s okay. When you do the math and put man-in-a-dress who isn’t drunk or in a fraternity and multiple it by number of men who have never worn a dress and divide out the men who are homophobic, Scott TOTALLY gets double-points.
LOVE IT!!!!
This story just keeps getting better and better. If all Dads (and parents) could respect their sons’ choices when they go against the “norm” the world would be a vastly different and better place.
I used to wonder when our kids were young… if I gave my son dolls would he play with dolls, our daughter tanks would see play with tanks? Or was there something internal that guided their choices. Interesting, and as we all grow and evolve our choices change yet again. Clayton for a time chose balls (stay out of the gutter- no pun intended!)- baseballs, soccer balls, kick balls, etc. When I would take him to the sitter I would have to bring along a trash bag full of balls, no kidding. Diane wore a tutu year round for about 1 1/2 years, even over her winter clothes! Never liked like dolls much though. Awesome to give permission to explore!
You guys are awesome. Thanks for setting the standard for being awesome parents. xo!
Croup is worse.
And solidarity rocks.
Kudos to such a creative solution to your dilemma. And, kudos for letting your son be who he wants to be and protecting him from the meanies of the world.
Awww!! You and your husband are awesome. Made me smile!
I think you guys made the right choice. If this is still going on come October, at least you know Fairy Princess Family is an option for Halloween.
You’re kids are so lucky to have ya’ll as parents!
omg, i love this family. your family. i have got to build up our dress-up supplies because i know these days are coming for us, too.
love love love love love
Alex I can’t even tell you how awesome that is. You are such an amazing mom, with a family to match.
Love, Love, Love!!!!
High fives to you and the fam!
Thank you for sharing your courage, support and love for your child. I am the author of My Princess Boy which is about acceptance of differences. Your blog was posted on our My Princess Boy Facebook page and I wanted to tell you- kudos. To acceptance!
A reader sent me to your site after my original post on this (http://www.lateenough.com/2011/01/the-yellow-bow/), and I felt so heartened by your experience and how you handled the questions during the talk shows. I’m so glad you wrote your book and let your son have his joy, too. Kudos right back!
I am so proud of you guys! I wish that everyone could be like you all instead of extinguishing their children’s creativity before they even get started in the world!
This gave me chills, Alex! I love that your husband wanted in, too!
Oh man. I love your family just a little bit. Ok a lot bit. What an awesome story.
That is just….awesome.
And, Scott? Triple bonus points.
Rock on with your princess solidarity.
I died from happiness just then. my heart literally burst and I died. you guys are my all time heroes. so much love.
Who wouldn’t want to be apart of a family who does this?! I LOVE IT! Would anyone bat an eye if everyone dressed up as football players? No! SO FUN! I think everyone in militia army fatigues might be a little scary, but THIS I love! Well played Mom. :o)
AHHHHH!!!! This is AWESOME!! When I saw the Facebook message you were all wearing your yellow dresses, I didn’t realize you were out and about. GO YOU! And especially, GO HUBBY! THAT is a man.
I love your family. That is all.
I think this is amazing! I always knew you guys were parents to live-up-to and respect but you definitely topped it now. Well done!
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