CSI for Kids!

If You Bought These Gifts, Our Friendship Is About To End

Yesterday, we went Christmas shopping. I was exhausted within five minutes.

In case you, too, collapse into irritability when surrounded by salespeople, who hate you, and shoppers, who find it in their hearts to hate you more, we are here to help.

GIFTS YOU SHOULD NOT BUY:

Hey, kid who doesn’t even look like he’s in high school! Let’s watch horrific murders and then reenact them in the hopes that ONE MORE PERSON DOESN’T HAVE TO DIE!

 

As global warming sets in, two lone penguins are left on a small desolate patch of ice. Maybe Disney will make a movie out of them before they’re dead.

 

Find out how ignorant you really are! Comes with different size pieces as wars and famine destabilize the region further!

We hope you enjoyed this edition of what not to buy other people. Tune in after Christmas when we lose more friends making fun of what people DID get us.

Maybe this should’ve come with the lonely penguin game.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

23 thoughts to “If You Bought These Gifts, Our Friendship Is About To End”

  1. OH my Scott’s picture is way to funny! Yeah all those gifts a pretty bad. But sadly I could see my daughter loving that penguin’s play set, then again she would be thrilled with a brand new dog toy (for her to play with) yes I love my creative 2 year old.

  2. I’m glad that the good people at CSI are also helping child serial killers hone their skills by practicing taking apart dummies’ faces first.

  3. As I was standing on that desolate street, loading the carcass into the river, I thought back to my childhood, and was once more grateful for the important crime scene lessons I’d learned and their useful application in hiding evidence.

  4. if santa brings me those gifts, he s gonna need the forensic facial reconstruction kit to reconstruct his own face. after i punch him in it.

  5. Snuggies are cool, I have one for my chihuahua.

    Its so hard to find decent toys out there now a days that are a bunch of cheap crap at an outrageous price.

    Thanks for the heads up.
    Got any ideas for a 20 year old girl?

    1. So it’s not a snuggie — it’s an IMPOSTOR snuggie. Here’s me and my sis in the REAL DEAL: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=646211480064&set=o.107269115963042

      Please send me (or upload to http://facebook.com/LateEnough) a picture of your chihuahua. Thank you.

      PS> When I was 20, I wanted money. Short of that, I would say something that made me feel like I was seen. Like a donation to a cause I cared about or a bracelet in my favorite color.

  6. My hubby bought one of those blankets for me the first year we were married. I have never worn because every time I feel trapped, he asks about it all of the time. Scott looks nice a toasty in his tho.

    SCI game- um no ma’am!

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