I Ask: Did You Resolve To Be More Awesome In 2011?

I find New Year’s resolutions suspicious.

I RESOLVE TO GROW FOUR INCHES AND WIN THE LOTTERY WHILE CLIMBING MOUNT EVEREST.

Although I admire the denial and delusion of it all.

I’ve never been into New Year’s Eve either. The last time I went out was two years ago:

I don't know what I'm look at. I think I'm mostly wondering why I'm so much taller.

I’m not even sure what drunk partying has to do with a brand new year. Although starting off 2011 with vomit in your bed means your year can only get better.

I am a tiny bit taken by the IDEA of a new year. I adore NEW. I keep any new clothing separate from my old clothes until I wear it once. Because it’s NEW and needs to be treated as such. Then I shrink it in the wash, keep in for another ten years and resolve to throw it away but never follow through because cleaning out my closet is my equivalent of Mount Everest.  YAY NEW!

Last year, I actually remembered to write down my resolutions so I could look back and hate myself. Oh wait, no.  I was honestly curious if I would follow through. Usually, I just forget what I resolved to do.  Which is much more convenient.

My New Year’s Resolutions from January 2010:

  1. To be more present. More available. To spend less time on my iPhone and more time doing all those things that I put off. Or get bored with. Dishes. Sitting on the floor with my children.
  2. To take my children outside more. I hate getting ready and then just wandering around. I’m not into aimless. And I hate getting into situations that may set me up to get annoyed at my children. Which means I avoid too many places. Especially hiking.
  3. Not snap at my husband. Give Scott the benefit of the doubt. The benefit of being a wonderful husband. Allow him to have bad moods. Say the wrong thing. It’s okay.

Okay, I now have two blogs, run content for a third and have had multiple freelance jobs including two regular writing gigs. I’m pretty sure that I failed #1.

Wait! I definitely did #2! We went outside A LOT. And I’m much better with aimless. I didn’t put any effort into making this happen. Maybe I get half a point?

I don’t really want to ask Scott how I did on #3. I think that I did well on the last part, but the first sentence? Not so much, my dear. {smooches}

Well, I’m sufficiently disappointed that 2/3 resolution can go back on my list. And that pretty much sums up why I think the whole shebang is suspect.

But if I had to think of one, it’d be to start another blog. Just kidding, family!

Actually, I’d like to steal a few of yours.

So I ask: How’d you do last year? And how are you resolving to be more awesome in 2011? (As if that is even possible. You read my blog! You win awesome!)

Answer I chose because I want her to send me fudge. Megan (Best of Fates) writes: I’m so lazy I never get around to making resolutions. You know what I did get around to making? Fudge. Delicious fudge. So that’s all I have to contribute.

Answer that sums up how all resolutions should turn out. Mandy writes: I bombed my only resolution last year: Run a marathon. Problematic because a) I hate running and b) I really hate running.  This year? I’m not resolving to do anything I hate.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

45 thoughts to “I Ask: Did You Resolve To Be More Awesome In 2011?”

  1. Yes I agree since I didn’t make any last year I ROCK!!!

    I am actually trying this next year to eat healthy. This is going to be a huge challenge for me. But I do want to try to lose weight and be healthy for my daughter and myself. But other then that just the same old same old. Spend more time with family and be more active on my blog.

  2. Okay, I LOVE NEW YEAR’S. LOVE. It’s totally my thang. I am a big bah-humbug scrooge at christmas. Love new year’s. It’s the best and I will go into length as to why tomorrow, so I don’t want to type it out twice here. But, I don’t do resolutions. This year, I’ve just bought new work out stuff but not as a New Year’s resolution… as a holy shit I’ve gotten fat and out of shape resolution. Bleck. But, yeah, resolutions are for dumb dumbs… in my opinion.

    1. Okay first of all, your use of “dumb dumbs” continues to make me happy.

      And while I read your post on New Years, I still lean towards Christmas. New stuff. Giving. No puking. Usually.

      But maybe I’ll try next year to like it more. What? Is that a resolution?

  3. 1. Go to church more times than I currently do.
    2. Pack my lunch for work.
    3. Use my treadmill – to walk – I’m not crazy.
    4. Pinch pennies.

    If I can achieve all 4, I will be holier, healthier, and richer than my former 2010 self. I’d say that will make me more awesome.

    1. Packing lunch for work is a good one that continues to elude both Scott and I.

      Also I’ve heard pinching pennies helps to get our hands in good shape for blogging. I’m IN!

  4. i have no idea what my resolutions were last year but maybe I could snag a few of yours for this year… like spending more time on the floor with my kids, ignoring my Blackberry and giving my husband the benefit of the doubt.

  5. I don’t make resolutions. just don’t. but I did accomplish a lot of things I decided to do throughout 2010. however, despite all of my amazing accomplishing, 2010 still sucked sweaty hairy monkey ass.

    1. I was shocked how many people had a tough 2010. Seriously, I’ve never seen a year go down to so many cheers.

      So you aren’t alone. And you are now in 2011. The year of AWESOME. Or at least the year of NO MONKEY BUTTS.

  6. My resolution last year was to be a good wife and do nice things for my husband. Also, being more patient. I think I did really well, but now that I’m pregnant, the patience part is gone!

    1. Oh, pregnancy takes away patience, energy and the ability to tie one’s shoes. But it’ll come back. Or just stick a ten pound weight in a pillowcase and tape it to your husband’s stomach for the day. You’ll feel TONS better.

  7. I resolved to find myself last year, or at least to work at it. I think I did that, but first I lost myself. It’s been a whirlwind in weird, wonderful and really sucky ways. But it was transformative, no matter how you cut it.

    And girlfriend, you look HAWT in that outfit, with the belly. Wooot!!!

  8. I have to admit I didn’t make ANY resolutions for 2010. Mainly because I was less than a month away from having twins and all I could think about was how much I hated being pregnant. So I guess my resolution was to stop sharing my body with two other people. For 2011, I don’t know what I have as a “resolution”, but maybe fitting back into my pre-preg jeans. Because apparently having children redistributes the muscle mass, replacing it with squish that doesn’t like jeans.

    1. This make me laugh: “So I guess my resolution was to stop sharing my body with two other people.”

      And there needs to be more postpartum jeans. with waists bigger than the hips.

  9. I feel just like you do about New Year’s and resolutions. However, this year I am making the year about me – meaning, trying to be the best me I can. Eating healthy, working out as much as I can find time for, being more patient, less argumentive and tryng to enjoy life. I am pretty sure these are the same resolutions year after year, but hopefully each year I get slightly better? Happy New Year!

  10. Good idea. I want to be taller in 2011. Then I could play defensive safety in the NFL. As you get older, your resolutions get more realistic. I resolve to have a healthy set of vital signs, this time next year.

  11. I’m hesitant to leave a comment since you already said I win

    I’m resolving to get some freelance writing gigs this year. Which is scary

  12. I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions. I figure if it’s important enough to do, it needs to be implemented immediately…even if it’s just a random Tuesday in the middle of the month. But maybe that’s just my need at immediate gratification talking. :o)

    Happy New Year FRIEND!

  13. I don’t have to make any resolutions because nearly every day I tell myself i am going to change something about myself and then fail to do so. But if I did make resolutions, all three of yours would be perfect for me.

  14. I bombed my only resolution last year: Run a marathon. Problematic because a) I hate running and b) I really hate running.

    This year? I’m not resolving to do anything I hate.

  15. I cheat. I resolve only to do things I KNOW will happen. Like….gain weight (I’m 4 months preggo) and clean out junk room (the baby will be taking over my room and I need a bed somewhere). I’m all about the lazy woman resolutions.

  16. Wow, your two and three are carbon copies of things I wanted to do last year (although the term ‘resolution’ makes me fling my hands up to my head and run around screaming like a heroine in a bad sixties melodrama). I did a little better at the outside thing (I’m the same about avoiding places), I walked to get the kids from school and then let them play outside with their friends before coming home. Every time I started to get some traction on the not being a bitch to my husband he just wanted to have sex with me even more, so that was annoying. Oh well. Onward…. oh, and slightly bitter that you look more glamorous pregnant than I have ever looked ever in my whole ever life ever.

    1. When I’m pregnant, I get crazy haircuts to combat ugly maternity clothing and my body being taken over by an alien. That’s about the sassy’s pregnancy picture I have from #2 because I mostly wanted curl up in a ball the entire pregnancy.

      So I recommend adding CRAZY HAIRCUT AT FANCY SALON. But you probably don’t need to yell it. Don’t add pregnancy though. Although with all that sex, it might be problematic.

  17. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I refuse. I like resolving to do things at random.

    But it’s fun to read hear what everyone else plans on not doing!

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