I Ask: What Should We Be For Halloween?

Before you run to the comments, you should know that Halloween is a time-honored tradition in our home. I only missed one year of dressing up in the last thirty-two, and it was the year we gave out so much candy I had to make a second trip to CVS. (Because what is Halloween without leftover candy?) We always do a theme and our children’s comfort level comes first. Ours may be completely disregarded. As may our dignity.

Our first year as parents was Halloween 2006.
And my mom had already provided the chicken costume.
So we became the road. And our costume became:
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Clearly to get some FREAKING SLEEP

In 2007, E would only wear a sweatshirt that is secretly a costume.
Thus we were a Cat, a Dog and Animal Control.
And went to a friend’s neighborhood party where only the kids dressed up. Awesome.

The dog costume came first. Alternatives for Scott would\’ve been a mouse. Or poop.

In 2008, not only were we just barely crossing a line with Lois Lane, Superman and Lex Luther:

As long as we put aside the Oedipal concept, I think we totally look like a movie franchise.

But we went to a grown-up party as two Old Punks and a Punk-in-utero.

We weren\’t always soft and minivan-y. We moshed in combat boots.

Which brings us to last year’s PHENOMENON.
The Fire, the Fireman, the Fire Truck and the Dalmatian.
BAM! I’ll take home my prize of all your candy now.

Our most creative and under-appreciated costume. Strike two against my neighborhood.

But subliminally, I was just your typical flaming liberal trapped in Dixie.

I secretly converted my neighbors the entire night. And they gave me candy! SUCKAS.

So there you have it.

Are you intimidated?

Because I could TOTALLY make us into the characters from Twilight. I already have my doppelgänger.
And so does E:

Team E! (That really is my son when he finds hair gel.)

So now you know we’re working with next-to-nothing this year.

I ask: What should we be for Halloween?

Answer you hate. The big reveal will be next weekend. Thanks for all the ideas you geniuses!

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

59 thoughts to “I Ask: What Should We Be For Halloween?”

    1. I know! All he did was mess with hair gel. I couldn’t believe the likeness!

      And my doppelganger (by consensus) was the actress who played Alice…

      Maybe Twilight is based on us… OOOOHHHH!!! SPOOKY!!

  1. If you don’t mind recycled costumes…

    My all-time favorite Halloween costume was my senior year in college. My roommates and I (four of us) dressed in green pants and green puff vests (we went to school in Maine, so it also fit with the weather); black shirts, black boots, and green bandanas tied in various ways around our heads; red lipstick and BIG hoop earrings. We were Gang Green (gangrene…get it?!).

    Lame? Maybe. But we thought it was awesome. And awesomely creative. And we loved it. And isn’t that all that really matters?

      1. Okay. So I have tried, with all my might, to find a photo of this (most awesome) costume. I am sad to report that not one of the four of us could come up with proof of this evening.

        I blame it on the pre-digital age of photography. And the fact that it was college. And Halloween night. If you catch my drift.

        On the upside, reflections on this costume turned up the story, which I had forgotten, that we also decided to “spread” our gangrene all evening by secretly placing little bits of black tape on people- who where then “infected”. My roomates little brother, a freshman at the time, said it was the most illuminating Halloween he’s ever had.

        Sorry I couldn’t produce evidence. I really am.
        -kjd

  2. I am totally on team E!! He is seriously hawt!

    That last one was really inspired–and I thought the chicken/road one was brilliant, too. How could you think clearly enough that first year to come up with that idea?

    You could dress up as breakfast? Egg, toast, bacon? Okay, that is a lame idea. I am creative-costume challenged, obviously.

    1. Of course you picked a meal! I probably need pomegranate jelly — homemade! (well all my babies are homemade I guess)… also, not sure if I can convince my four year that food is cool enough to wear… my eighteen month old on the other hand…

  3. Riley’s first Halloween he was a lion and Robby and I dressed up in safari gear. We sang “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” at the party while Riley was sleeping and clutched prize for best skit. This year we’re going as superheros. I’m trying to figure out how to pull off Catwomen without looking like a hooker.

    1. I love that y’all sang! So sweet!

      And if you look at my version of a cat, I added a black skirt that hits just above the knee. This is a much less hooker-ish addition easily added. My son wants me to be The Flash!

  4. One year, many of them ago, Husband 1.0 and I came in second place at a costume contest for our costume druid priest and sacrificial virgin…but, well, I can’t figure out a way to work kids into that in a way that isn’t pretty creepy…

    And I really think the chicken and the road is one of the best costumes I’ve ever heard of.

    Four of you could be Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion and the Scarecrow…it’d help if you had a dog that could be Toto.

    The kids could be cars and you and your husband could be a carwash (shredded trash bags on the arms make a great fake carwash).

    1. I DO have a dog. He’s a bluetick coonhound weighing in at 60 pounds. that’s a big toto…

      But i like the car wash…. although it scares N so I might have to do a lot more of the parenting her that night than I’d like.

      hmmm… and just in case you were wondering, I recently read that druid is now an official religion in England. Way to help the cause my friend.

  5. 3 Blind Mice & the Farmer’s Wife. Not too creative, but who can give up an opportunity to dress their husband in drag?! Or, how about Fred & Wilma & Pebbles & Bam Bam?

    1. Do you think that my kids will freak out when my husband chases them around with a carving knife? Because we are VERY realistic in our family…

      We do have that red plastic kid’s coupe for the fred mobile!

  6. I love the fire theme. Well done!

    Hmmm… My big girl wants to be the night sky this year. (Or possibly tinker bell or a fairy or a ballerina or a ninja or…) You all could be a constellation? And once, I wanted to be an autumn leaf. You could be the seasons. Or… Hmmm…

    1. If I was a paddle, I could smack people all night? I may have to track down a few neighbors. Like the one who HONK THEIR HORN UNTIL MY DAUGHTER WOKE UP FROM HER NAP.

      I think explaining the Lindsey Lohan costume to my kids might get me in more trouble than beating up my neighbors..

  7. Hi Alex!!! It’s me (formerly Miss Welcome). I finally (italics) finished my new blog and launched it today which is why there has been silence for the last month +

    I stand in awe of your halloween costumes and retire in more silence. I clearly know how to stand aside for my betters.

  8. Just like dancing, I prefer to dress alone. The only year my husband and I had meshing Halloween costumes (okay, there were two years) was 2004. I was a Texan oil man/George Bush and he was a hick complete with sleeveless American flag shirt. In general, red staters. The first year we moved into our house, I was happy homemaker (truly, a costume), and he was happy dad. I should share that picture. It’s hilarious.

  9. How about Old McDonald had a farm?
    E could be a farmer; You and N an animals of your choosing; S the scarecrow

    or a midwest theme perhaps
    E the cowboy, N the sherrif, S the bad guy, and you the damsel in distress =)
    or something like that…

    I’ll be interested to see what you guys come up with – they are always so good!

    1. OOH! The circus! That would be so much fun. Except the giant clown (because OF COURSE scott would be the clown), might freak some people out. not that we haven’t freaked out our neighbors a few times already…

    1. I have really been thinking about the bath time idea. seriously… you might be on to something. although i hate bathing. of course i don’t like things being on fire so it might be okay.

    1. aw! you MUST do it!! You can even steal one of my or my commenters ideas if you are overwhelmed with brainstorming AND creating the costumes. I mean, I plan to steal a commenter’s idea.

  10. You could recycle the flaming liberal costume and be a bleeding heart liberal, with a doctor husband trying to stitch you up. The kids could be Palin and Cheney’s hearts (shriveled up, black and tiny).

    1. wow. you are my kinda liberal lady. just letting in all hang out! although i’d probably get less candy in my republican wacky neighborhood.
      oh yes, every other house has a “Thanks W” sticker or a “NoBama” sticker.
      ps. help

  11. My son, husband, and I are doing The Very Hungry Caterpillar. My son is going to be the caterpillar and my husband and I are going to be pieces of fruit he’s eaten through. I bought the caterpillar costume online and I’m just going to make the fruit out of felt and glue them to black t-shirts for the hubs and I. All you’d have to do is have your little girl be the butterfly!

  12. I’m a new reader here so I apologize that it is almost Thanksgiving and I am submitting ideas but what-the-hey, you can get a jump start on next year!

    -N could be Little Bo Peep and you, E and the hubby can be sheep!
    -N could be Snow White and you, E and the hubby can be dwarfs.
    -Combo of Old McDonald and random farm animals.

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