A few days ago, my children were using circular-to-no logic allowing them to ignore everything I said. From please put your cup in the sink to stop trying to eat the dog. And then my daughter began her point to the soggy diaper and cry, but when I move in to change it SCREAM AND FLAIL away dance.
And just when my impotence and demoralization was nearly complete, I tweeted:
Sometimes I think the gods gave me children to see how long it would take me to poke out my own eye.
— Alex Iwashyna (@L8enough) October 18, 2010
To which my husband replied: Isn’t that Oedipus? But then I received a reply from @barbarag0rd0n:
— batgirl (@barbarag0rd0n) October 19, 2010
Social media really IS my BFF! (Are you reading this Scott? You need to get back on Twitter STAT.) Anyway, batgirl and I went back and forth — easily a highlight of my week. (My week was filled with nausea, hatred of people and an inability to get to the post office so the bar was set to limbo contest. But STILL a welcome refuge.)
— Alex Iwashyna (@L8enough) October 19, 2010
— batgirl (@barbarag0rd0n) October 20, 2010
— Alex Iwashyna (@L8enough) October 20, 2010
The last eye-stab-inducing event woke up my daughter forty minutes into a nap on the morning she had been up since 5 a.m.. On N and my subsequent walk, I found that neighbor. I may move them to the “key car” list.
So my bloggy BFFs, I ask: What’s on YOUR eye stab list?
(Or twitter me up with #eyestablist)
Answer that I read aloud to my husband and he responded with SHUT-UP. Jenny writes: The man cold. You know, the same cold that women and children get, but is apparently 987 times worse and therefore, demands THAT much more sympathy. #eyestablist
Answer that depressed me because it means I going to need to stab my eyes out for the next ten years. Walt writes: Tweens… Tween daughter who insists on buying spaghetti making stuff. Insists it’s her “favorite”. Then when I serve what might be the best sauce I’ve ever made, the nose goes up as she says. “I don’t like it that way”. #eyestab……
But seriously, read them all. Then join the Twitter and read more. HILARIOUS.