I’m a picky eater. Not an I’m-a-picky-eater-I-avoid-foods-to-keep-my-weight-down-or-up. It’s mostly if I don’t like something, I’m officially EW! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!
I like CHEESE pizza. Add onions or garlic occasionally. But mostly cheese. Lots of it. I (except when pregnant) do not like pepperoni pizza. But does that mean we can get an entire pepperoni pizza and I’l just pick them off? NO. Because I don’t like pepperoni craters.
Also, I hate wasting things. Like pepperonis. Or the ten Cheerios left in the cereal box. Which is why there are so many cereal boxes in our pantry. With stale Os
The dilemma really hits when I buy a box of Popsicles. I like red. And purple. The Popsicle powers that be don’t make red and purple ONLY boxes. They always include THE DREADED ORANGE. I do not like orange. I like RED AND PURPLE. Scott doesn’t eat Popsicles. So we would have boxes and boxes of orange Popsicles. Until I was FORCED to throw them away to make room for Popsicles the following summer.
Then we had kids…
Me: Do YOU want an orange Popsicles, E?
And if he says, no?
I respond: YUMMY!
And hand it to N.
At which point he usually yells: I WANT AN ORANGE ONE.
And I high-five myself thinking: Well played Mama. Well played.
However, not every day is as smooth as the Orange Popsicle Anti-Alex Foodie Offensive of 2010.
The other day we bought ice cream cupcakes from Cold Stone Creamery. And those delicious ice cream making JERKS only sell them in variety packs.
I don’t do well with variety packs.
Because the only ice cream cup cakes I’m eating are the Sweet Cream and Cake Batter cupcakes. PERIOD.
So I give my daughter the Oreo Chocolate. Because I don’t like chocolate. Okay, I only like white chocolate. Which is not actually cocoa. It’s just sugar. Hmmm… sugar.
And my son doesn’t like chocolate. Because I clearly did not force him to eat it enough as a baby.
I glance at N. She looks back.
So I move the Sweet Cream and Cake Batter aside. And I give her the cupcake I hate.
As a test.
I’m looking for my BFF Cold Stone Cupcake eater.
And I really don’t want to have anymore kids.