Our First County Fair In Virginia

I grew up in a small town in Connecticut. We had five thousand residences and two police cars. (so if you passed both of them you could speed home!) Our jail was a chair that you were handcuffed to (in case you miscount the police cars). Our high school was combined with the town next to us and even that only got us to 600 kids IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.

But most importantly, every summer we had the Carnival. Giant cages spinning wildly in the Ferris Wheel of Death. The Bingo tent full of old people, trolls and me. Cotton candy for two dollars and goldfish brought home to die by the dozens.

So before my kids left for my birthday, we drove to our first southern version of the county fair.

We ate funnel cake. FOR LUNCH.

In our defense we also provided french fries and an Italian sausage slathered in onions and peppers to eat.

My son and his stomach of steel and I went on ride after ride after ride.

That helicopter has taken E to carnival heaven.

Welcome to the fun house. Full of terrified smiles.

The only way to leave the fun house. Only awesome for E.

What blog is posting the picture of the mom flashing the county fair?

Out of all the Fords and fire trucks that E could drive…

He picks the hippie lovebug. I think my work here is done.

This is our HAVING FUN face

I’m pretty sure E is screaming too.

Pretty standard fare. Until I tear my eyes away from the whirling lights and sounds and sugar.

And I’m being stared down.  By tattoos of eyeballs.  ONE ON EACH BOOB.  Spirited t-shirts encouraging me to Save a horse! Ride a cowboy! And belt buckets that say: Bad Mom. Which I’m pretty sure she means bad as in good. Or maybe bad as in good luck keeping these cutoff jean shorts from showing you the fun.

But most importantly, you will see Cinderella. Chatting with two vampires.

What do you think the Princess of Shoes discusses with the Princesses of the Night?

And then you will wander into the petting zoo.

The zebra tried to kicked that sheep’s butt. Who knew zebras & sheep were mortal enemies?

Do NOT go to this guy’s hairdresser.

Seriously the only meat the Queen will eat. I would not want to be in that herd even IF I got to meet Prince William

Not eaten. Yet.

But as you leave the lights and the dust and the missing teeth of the fair behind, you just might find your heart walking in front of you. Holding hands.

The first time they’ve ever held hands. Which may or may not mean this is one of three hundred pictures

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

15 thoughts to “Our First County Fair In Virginia”

  1. Awesome pic of the most frightening Cinderella I’ve ever seen in my life. Is she the zombie Cinderella?

    And did you top that gourmet meal off with a fried Coca-Cola? Yes, such a thing does exist.

  2. Cutest post of the year! Looks like you all had fun!
    I love the pictures especially the last one– my heart is melting (no seriously please come down here and help me) hehe

  3. I think this is my favorite “family” blog post (there are so many I had to create a category). I LOVE FAIRS! And you are the coolest for going down that slide…in a skirt…and the fact your wore a skirt to a fair in the first place. Though Cinderella did have you beat fashionably. And on that note, what the what?!

  4. Gotta love a fair! It looks like you guys had a great time.

    I grew up in a slightly smaller town in Washington. Our high school was county-wide and was able to muster 150 – including the 14 poor exchange students who walked around with a look of bewilderment on their faces.

  5. As a proud (white trash lol) southerner who has spent my fair share of time at the carnival, as well as a carny for one crazy summer when I was 17, I absolutely LOVE your interpretation of your first ‘southern carnival’ lol

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