We’re walking the strip mall to a pizza place. The food of the gods! (No, it’s not the restaurant name. I’m suddenly disappointed, too.)
(So I guess I’m implying that my family are gods. Now I feel more awkward than disappointed.)
As we pass one not-good-enough-for-the-real-mall store after another, we reach the Healthy Back Store. With their door propped wide-open on a typical Virginian summer day (read: our eyeballs are sweating as we watch small insects sneak into air-conditioned stores and freeze in mid-flight).
E asks: Why is the door open?
Scott replies: Because they hate the environment.
I gaff (I’m not really sure how to gaff but I like misspelling it over and over again to give my spellcheck something to do tonight that’s manageable. Oh, I spelled “manageable” wrong. Twice. It has an “e” in it. FYI.)
Anyway, the Healthy Back store totally DOES hate the environment because not only do they cool the sidewalk with central air, EVERY EMPLOYEE they hire has to take a smoke break at the same time. They gather in front of the (open) door in their spiffy black Healthy Back polo shirts (and probably pants but I can’t remember) and puff puff puff.
And those employees are going to have to DRIVE CARS to get to chemo.
So I’m pretty sure the motto of the store is:
Which seems like a bad business plan since the Earth is where the store is. Although maybe they’re expanding.
To be fair to the Health Back Store, I could note that I often sit at the door in a large pink chair INSIDE the house while my children play OUTSIDE in the backyard. I wave. I smile. I leave the door WIDE-OPEN. But I only destroy the environment when it’s over 90 degrees. And I quit smoking eight years ago. And I don’t have a motto. Except early sucks.
But I don’t want to lose my eco-cred. So forget it, I’m not noting this at all.