Overheard. Actually Said. By Me. Mostly.

Someone once commented that they would like to be a fly on our wall. So here are some of my favorite two-ish liners. Also we have a fly swatter. SO LAUGH.

________
I start to tell Scott a story WHERE I WIN. His eyebrows go up.

Me: If you don’t put those condescending eyebrows away…

Scott places hands over eyebrows: Go on with your very interesting story.
________
Scott glancing at himself (not a new phenomenon): I’m so studly.

{short pause as he takes in my morning-hate glare}

S: It must be doubly-frustrating to be so attracted to someone who is so annoying.
________
Me: Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.

Scott: That’s not why I hate you.
________
Scott texts me: We need an opar.

Me: And a dictionary.
________
Me in a voicemail to Scott: I’m so tired and I think people suck.

Scott (many hours later}: I wasn’t really motivated to call back.
________
Scott: Oops. I spilled water.

E: Alright, you get the blue towel and clean it up, and I’ll poop.

Okay so I got that last one as the text. And responded: Ha! That convo could’ve gone either way.

I clearly wasn’t the funny one that day.
_______

PS. I made the photo booth style picture with Picnik. It’s also how I made my blog button. They aren’t paying me to say this. But you can if you’re bored. Or rich. Mostly if you’re rich. Contact me Richie Rich. Oh and in the third picture? I look like one hot zombie. Seriously.

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Our Common Humanity Is Easier To Find Than You Think. Check Your Pants. I Don’t Write To Hurt You And I Believe You Don’t Write To Hurt Me Paranoia From The Toilet WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Tagged as: Marriage, My Family, Scott