Overheard. Actually Said. By Me. Mostly.

Someone once commented that they would like to be a fly on our wall. So here are some of my favorite two-ish liners. Also we have a fly swatter. SO LAUGH.

I start to tell Scott a story WHERE I WIN. His eyebrows go up.

Me: If you don’t put those condescending eyebrows away…

Scott places hands over eyebrows: Go on with your very interesting story.
Scott glancing at himself (not a new phenomenon): I’m so studly.

{short pause as he takes in my morning-hate glare}

S: It must be doubly frustrating to be so attracted to someone who is so annoying.
Me: Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.

Scott: That’s not why I hate you.
Scott texts me: We need an opar.

Me: And a dictionary.
Me in a voicemail to Scott: I’m so tired and I think people suck.

Scott (many hours later}: I wasn’t really motivated to call back.
Scott: Oops. I spilled water.

E: Alright, you get the blue towel and clean it up, and I’ll poop.

Okay so I got that last one as the text. And responded: Ha! That convo could’ve gone either way.

I clearly wasn’t the funny one that day.

PS. I made the photo booth style picture with Picnik. It’s also how I made my blog button. They aren’t paying me to say this. But you can if you’re bored. Or rich. Mostly if you’re rich. Contact me Richie Rich. Oh and in the third picture? I look like one hot zombie. Seriously.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

21 thoughts to “Overheard. Actually Said. By Me. Mostly.”

  1. Love your hairstyle! I have ALWAYS wanted to wear bangs.

    Not for those of the curly persuasion, tho.

    And yes, your man needs a dictionary, but you need an “opar” even more!
    Trust me on this one. Life will never be the same.

  2. Put away your swatter ’cause I’m laughing my ass off over here. 😀


    Was he talking Tarzan or the Office of Policy Analysis and Research or, hopefully, the plant?

    Although, I’d love to have my very own Office of Policy Analysis and Research.

  3. You always have the funniest blog posts on days I need a giggle the most. LOVE that you two are such silly stinkers if not goobery at times. :o) We need to vacay together.

  4. I think its great that you two can laugh and have fun together.

    I am working on that kind of relationship with my sportsman. but he is a very analytical type of person. geez

    How fun is that? NOT

  5. Awesome.

    I love when couples have that quick verbal spar thing going on. It’s one of my favourite things about my favourite couples. I just realized how creepy that sounds….

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