Hand covering eyes

My Son Has A Bigger Blog Than Me (Formerly Do Not Drive And Pretend To Tweet)

We are driving.

Well, Scott is driving. I don’t even have to remember if that’s true. Because it is. I hate driving. Conflictingly enough, I also hate Scott driving.  Because he’s a bad driver.  After multiple arguments over me NOT WANTING TO DRIVE and me TELLING HIM HOW TO DRIVE, we’ve compromised (marriage, eh?  I’m also thinking of becoming a Canadian blogger.) and now I spend most of our drive quietly looking like this:

Hand covering eyes
FYI: It's hard to take a self-portrait while covering your eyes.

Back to the car… Scott and I are discussing deep and insightful stuff while I silently pray for a quick death due-to-driving-skill.

Suddenly E interrupts (not sure if you can interrupt without suddenness. I’ll try this week and let you know. Or forget. Anyway.) E says: Don’t talk, Dada. I’m tweeting out my blog.

Me (to Scott): E has a big blog. He told me yesterday.

E: Mama! DON’T TALK! I’m tweeting out my BIG blog.

A few minutes of uncomfortable silence goes by as I watch E use an imaginary iPhone to get on Twitter.

E: Okay, you can talk now. I’m done tweeting out my blog.

Me (to Scott): See? I don’t make them wait long.

Scott: Oh, I don’t think you say that to the kids.

Me: Well, that’s very nice to think.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

24 thoughts to “My Son Has A Bigger Blog Than Me (Formerly Do Not Drive And Pretend To Tweet)”

  1. Gotta love kids and their honesty. It’ll get you in trouble or give you a good laugh. Being a teacher I’ve heard more than I care to about the intimate or strange details of family life from my students.

  2. I’m currently feeling all smug, since I don’t tweet, so that’s one tiny thing the kids can’t throw in my face.


    (One of my kids really does have a blog. So he doesn’t get to complain.)

  3. I feel a bit better about my son pretending to scream at people about their computers on the phone. Only a bit, though .

  4. I always drive. I hate the way Chip drives. He drives like he’s the only person on the road. Since Chip is prematurely gray (and also prematurely balding) (he’s only 40) and since I’m always driving him around, I imagine that people look at us and think that I’m married to a senile old man who’s too incapacitated to drive anymore.

  5. So funny. Tweeting out my big blog – that’s awesome.

    I offered to help my eldest start a blog so he’d have a place to put up his comics. His response? “I don’t want to blog! Then I’d have to get Twitter, and put it on my Facebook, and do all that other stuff, and before I knew it IT WOULD TAKE OVER MY LIFE!”

    Smart kid.

  6. Haha! From a very early age our daughter would tell us she wants “to do twitter now.” Color me slightly embarrassed to admit that she does have her own twitter account — for cute baby-book stuff at first, and now for funny quotes.

    Also, I have learned that hardcover books double nicely as laptop computers. Oh, technology.

  7. I love it!
    When I was telling Fynn about why I was going away for three days for BlogHer I said it was for blogging and he said – and I kid you not – “Blogging? What you talkin’ ’bout Mommy?”
    It didn’t dawn on me that I never talk about the blog to the kids 😉

  8. You should so become a Canadian blogger ’cause that would mean you’d have to move to Canada! Score!

    That is too funny. Q is only 2, so the most I get it ‘Look at ME, mommy! Not phone.” Oops…

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