Our Common Humanity Is Easier To Find Than You Think. Check Your Pants.

My day…

Which reminded me…

We are in the car on Thursday night. It’s past dinnertime and the kids are FREAKING OUT on our way to McDonalds (shhh… don’t tell the parent police.) So I pull out all the Mama magic.

Me: N! Who has a NOSE?

N points to her nose and ceases shrieking.

Me: E! Who has EYEBROWS?

E: Me! and gives a little Groucho Marx.

Me: N! Who has a MOUTH?

N points to her mouth, smiling.

Me: E! Who has a KNEE?

E points to his knee and says: ME!

E suddenly interrupts: Who has a PENIS?


Scott looks to me. I look at him. He shrugs.

Scott: I do!

E: I do, too! Who has a BA-GINA?

Me: Me!

E: And N!

Me: Yup. Who has a BOTTOM?


Nothing like butts to bring a family together.

Who has a booty out there? Go on. I do! AUTOMATIC CONVERSATION STARTER. (And possible end-er. But it’s better to know that they can’t handle a good heiny conversation before you waste time getting to know them.)

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

13 thoughts to “Our Common Humanity Is Easier To Find Than You Think. Check Your Pants.”

  1. I love it that you talk with your kids about their whole bodies without shame or embarrassment! That is so important for them later in life.
    I’m totally going to steal your game for my next car drive, by the way. Thanks for the smile!

  2. We have a lot of that going on over here! I’m the lone bagina owner in the house, though. Exotic.

    Last night the 2 y/o asked me to draw a picture of him and Scruffy, the dog we’re hosting for 10 days. I drew them one body part at a time. You have a head. Scruffy has a head. You have a body, Scruffy has a body. Scruffy has legs, you have legs. Scruffy has a tail. Do you have a tail?

  3. My big girl got confused with the word penis, yielding this: ‘Daddy has a peanut!’
    And just the other day she told me men don’t wear breasts. I think she meant bras.

  4. What a fun distracting game.

    However, I’ve since learned that school discourages “booty” even though that’s what we use..so now it’s “bottom.” It sounds too refined to me.

  5. I just found your blog and spent way too long reading it. (When there are a million other things I should be doing, naturally. Like making dinner.) I’m so sorry about what you’re going through with your son–it sounds so rough. I definitely pray that you guys are able to get solid answers and that you find support and compassion to get through the episodes, and discernment in knowing what to do. (I can’t even imagine what I’d do–how devastating to watch your little boy go through that. You’re holding up amazingly well and being a fantastic mom, btw.)

    But this made me laugh hysterically. I’ll try that one next time.

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