As I mentioned early this week, I am Ms. November in the Blogger Body Calendar. But I am not a photographer, nor am I a visual person. I live in WORDS people. My photos are blurry and boring. Seriously.
I’ve read the posts my Medicinal Marzipan on her AWESOME photo shoot idea and attitude. And I’ve even seen The Bloggess photos (the link just goes to her blog people. I saw the pictures because I’m content manager and word connoisseur of the project. Or as sweet cheeks suggested I be called: OH GREAT MISTRESS of BBC2011. OGM has it’s perks.)
So my photo shoot is on Wednesday and I’m FREAKING OUT. I have NO IDEA what to do. None. Except maybe wear red lipstick. Because it matches my blog. Yes, I’m that devoid of ideas.
I am turning to you, my creative and cool friends (and the rest of you geeks too).
The only stipulations that I can think of:
- It’s a risque calendar… so near-naked is ok, also known as expected. Fully clothed is not. And totally naked seems a bit much, but we’ll see.
- I want to look like ME. (Probably not the unshowered version.) As much as I’m tempted to hide all my flaws, I don’t want to be afraid of… well, I might not be ready to LIST them yet, but I’m willing to photograph them. Because they make up my beautiful body.
- I want to incorporate what my blog is about (since it’s a BLOGGER body calendar), but I’m have no clue what my blog is about. Wait, no… I have no idea how to change my blog into a sexy photograph. And the only word used consistently to describe my blog is HONEST. (And now that Billy Joel song is stuck in my head. And yours. Don’t hate me. I NEED YOU.)
Will you help? I’ll love you forever. And if your idea wins my heart, I’ll be sure to tell the world. Because I know how to use words. Sorta. (which is pretty much not a word. at least i know how to use the Twitters. and get all Facebooky.)
Answer that sucks: I can’t tell you! (and that sucks.) I tried almost all your ideas but I haven’t chosen the final picture yet. And I still have to keep it on the DL until the calendar is out. BUT you were so helpful and awesome! THANK YOU!
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
Next Comments →
I’ve got nothin’. I did help my sister (the photographer) with one of her boudoir sessions. From what I remember, the most important thing is to be comfortable and relax.
What fun!!
I think a fun pose could be wearing an old fashioned-like apron, holding a duster or a cup of coffee or maybe sitting with your laptop. Could be a side shot to show legs/sides but no boobs and just outline of your butt. In the background the house is a disaster. Socks flung all over the place, toys everywhere. Kind of a play on being a mom, wife and blogger.
i just keep thinking clocks…clocks…
Wanted to add aside from the big wall clock, maybe have a few watches on each arm.
rescinding my previous comment. flava flav is oh so… yesterday.
i now vote for a 40′s pinup girl remake… low cut gown or bathing suit (lots of back and cute bootie shot) – view from the back, heels to make your legs look fab. twisting around to look back at the camera. lipstick galore… but where they’d be holding a beach ball, you can have a big clock (if opting for bathing suit pinup girl) – or, lounging against a big old grandfather clock (if in evening gown mode) – ie you’re too playful or too sexy to be anythign but a little bit late : )
i love your last line: “youre too playful or too sexy to be anything but a little bit late” HECK YEAH BABY!
i’m definitely feeling the pose (twist around at the camera bootie shot)
in a(sixpack o’) word(s): cool sexy mom meets flava flav.
big-ass hat (late enough logo custom print) to the side. (trucker ventilation style cap). OR. get one of those plastic horned viking helmets a la Flav wears (go to ellmans on cary st)
TWO huge schoolroom-style ten-dolla clocks at walmart – one for each boob. possibly bedazzle the rim of each clock (*bling* momma) like you got two sparkly clocks but who da hell carez if you’re on time or not, yo? chains of course required for the clocks round your neck.
ring pop on each finger.
no clothes? no problem, but you will need BIG running shoes (or barefoot runner sandals as a tribute to your man) – after all, you’re still TRYING to get there on time… sometimes.
maybe a fake gold tooth. (with red lipstick)
Seems like a large clock is the fav idea, and I can see why it will be awesome. Only word of caution: do not buy used clocks from Flava Fav. Hey, I’m just saying.
MAN! But it TOTALLY matches!
http://www.melrosejewelers.com/rolex-watch-blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/flavor-flav-red-carpet-207×300.jpg
Maybe we can auction it off for the calendar?
I like the clocks in the lap with red lip stick…but i think you need to have a pair of shoes on …any shoes, sneaks, heels, sandals, doesn’t matter
but an alex without shoes – i can’t imagine
so this is what i’m thinking (not sure if it’s really doable)
you sitting on a TV (old school type – none of these wimpy flat screens – hence why it make not be doable) – so maybe a table over the TV; ooh if it’s on a table you can put your computer next to you…
holding a big clock (home-made of course) with hands that point to Late Enough in the 9 and 3 position; legs crossed with a fabulous pair of shoes
and you having red lipstick
holding the phone in one had; and a wisk (or other kitchen tool – coffee pot perhaps =) in another…
can’t wait to see what you decide!
SHOES!! I knew I was forgetting something!
And I know JUST the pair!
Two things.
1. What are the other Calender Girls doing? Collaboration seems to be in order.
2. Keeping to your Blog Theme….keep in mind…..
“Sexy Enough”, “Enough Skin” or maybe “Enough’s Enough”. Okay maybe not the last one.
I lied.
3. My imagination is running way too far away….you need to think “Solid PG-13″.
I should stop now before s kicks my A.
everyone is doing something slightly different. mostly no clothes is the running theme. and being proud of your body whatever its shape and size.
and yes, besties need to keep it pg-13
I like the clock in front of you and then S and E can dress as zombies in the background! And N can come as herself then you can say Nathan Lane was there!!
HAHAHA!! Best blog reference EVER.
Ok, a black top hat is the theme.
Pose 1: sit with both legs bent at the knee. One leg down, like you are sitting with your legs crossed, the other one up as if you are going to rest your arms on it. If it’s angled just right, the camera that is, you can be totally naked without anyone seeing your whoha. The top hat would be held in front, covering your breasts. Hands holding it on either side.
Pose 2: same sitting arrangment only with your back to the camera. Top hat perched on the top of your head.
Of course a black bow tie is a must for both poses.
Oh and if you feel more comfortable with panties, you can always buy a balck thong. ;)
Oh and of course bright red lipstick!
I love the term whoha. i need to say that at least once during my shoot. and are you a photographer? because you have such great details in your vision.
Actually, yes I am. And it’s paining me I can’t be your photographer because I want to show you what I’m seeing in my head. Oh well, whoever does your photos will do an amazing job, I’m sure. Besides I don’t currently have a studio anyway.
Whoha Whoha Whoha
I’m in favour of the clocks and red lipstick plan. I love it!
red lipstick just makes for sexiness. i’ll even feel sexy BUYING it.
I’m thinking zombies! Must include zombies.
I totally need zombies. know where i can find any?
Clocks AND red lipstick. Only. Truth is? There will never be a right time or place, there will just be one moment where you grit your teeth (not visibly so as to ruin your smile ;) and take the shot. You’re going to be AMAZING. xo.
thanks! and you are totally right. all the set up in the world isnt going to help me take the leap of faith that is this photo shoot.
Remember all of those hilarious blogs you did about Thick Wool Sweaters that cover your whole body? those were hilarious…Lets incorporate lots of super thick wool sweaters that cover your whole body! Genius! (o.k. I like the clock thing too…)
you are so helpful. are you also planning to buy all the calendars?
I like the way you think Late Enough! I like the way you think! I also like the cut of your jib. But that doesn’t mean I want everyone else seeing it…
Can’t afford to buy the calendars, but maybe a fake mustache and some brown Dickies and I can kidnap the UPS driver’s truck and they will never get delivered (Insert Maniacal Laughter)… Somehow I think I could get Walt on-board with my plan, I know he’s got guns and he seems to have some interest in the calendar :)
Shotguns. We should bring shotguns.
for a moment there I though scott wanted to put you in a fake mustache and a UPS driver outfit….
Am I seriously the only one who’s STILL LAUGHING about your snit with the TV? I don’t think so.
Get it in the photoshoot, I’m sure it will find it in its plasma heart to forgive you! :D
I should totally let my television be in the sexy picture.
Good for its self-esteem since I’ve been neglecting it so much lately…
I’m with Tracey. A clock! Maybe a big round one. Your sitting sidesaddle with the clock in front of you goods with a little Alex smirky-smirk. OR! You are criss-cross -applesauce with the big clock in your lap with an arm draped over the top and your other hand under your chin with an Alex smirky-smirk. Super cute! Have you ever seen Calendar Girls? The movie where a bunch of older women make a calendar like this to raise money for a friend’s cancer? One of my favorites. Have fun!!!!!
I do have a good smirky-smirk…
And I have not seen the movie and are you lumping me in with a bunch of old ladies?
(if it’s a fav, i’ll still see it.)
See it.
Clocks, baby, clocks! You need lots & lots of clocks! You can have big ones & small ones; ones to hold up & ones to hide behind. Cute, colorful ones, big honking wood ones, etc. You could be peering around them, holding them up, etc. And you should be rocking out with several watches. it works with the blog *&* it’s a little artsy too. And all you need to do is ask for clocks to borrow & I’m sure you’d get plenty.
It would look visually cool b/c you could manipulate the shapes of the clocks to get plenty of lines & curves & you could easily decide how much or how little to show — & in various shots, you could try different amounts of skin so you see what you’re comfortable with showing when you look at the proof.
Clocks, baby, clocks….
I recant my previous comment and say you should do this.
I like the clock idea! We only have one cool clock at my house but it’s a start!
And I have lots of watches… none that work but that’s probably fitting too.
I love that you have watches that don’t work! That’s perfect! Now, we just need a cool clock drive & I’m pretty sure that’s what all this social media stuff is for. I’ve got a grandfather clock at my house. Rather like your watches, it doesn’t work either, but it takes good photographs. ;)
logged on to say that you should have a big wall cock hiding whatever you want to hide.
okay this totally made me giggle… because you wrote: “you should have a big wall COCK hiding whatever you want to hide.” You are so NAUGHTY ;)
lmao. talk about freudian slip or what.
I see your laptop in the picture possibly covering some or all of the precious parts. I think the phone needs to be in one hand. Maybe a spatula, whisk, or McDonald’s bag in the other. A spit up cloth on one shoulder, stinky tennis shoes on the floor around you along with a toy or two (kids’ and dog’s). You are a blogger, a tweeter, a wife, and a mother. Get some paraphernalia from all aspects and get it in the picture some how.
You’ll be great, and you’ll look great.
thanks! and i almost put my laptop in my new avatar pics because i love it so much… sad, really really sad.
Love the laptop idea!
Okay, Okay. Putting on my thinking cap here …..
How about you naked peering above the Guardian newspaper (which conveniently covers all important areas …)
Um, a takeout box of food covering the bottom bit with a bottle of (insert favorite drink) covering left breast, a glass with ice covering the other …
Oh! Oh! You’re a fighter. How about boxing gloves – one over each breast. And a black eye (with your kids peering around each hip)
I would probably wear a turtleneck.
my husband is routing for the turtleneck now.
i do like the boxing gloves idea although I don’t actually own a pair… (and it might be dangerous if I did!)
We definitely have some old pizza boxes I could use. SUPER SEXY hahahaha… sigh, my house is gross…
{ 1 trackback }