And more importantly, do you still have friends?
As I’ve gotten older, I realize that I’m falling behind in fashion, music, and cultural cool. And I’ve turned to my friends and BEGGED them to call me out when I get stuck in the 2000s and everyone else is all 2015.
But I have a friend stuck in the 80s (and not all OH THE EIGHTIES ARE BACK). I’ve never said a word. She’s not asked. (HEY ALEX! AM I STUCK IN THE EIGHTIES? YES YES YES THANK YOU SWEET MOTHER OF AWESOME FOR ASKING.)
So I’m pretty sure my friends will let me languish in lame. Karma really DOES suck.
So what do you do:
…when a friend says, I GOT A NEW HAIRCUT!, and you realize that she DID THAT TO HER BANGS ON PURPOSE. Do you smile and nod and hope she doesn’t ask if you like it?
…when your unibrow friend forgets two eyebrows are, well, EXPECTED? Do you give a salon gift card? Do you discuss the downsides to unibrows within earshot (as my classmates did)? Or do you just pat them on the back and hand them a Muppet movie?
….when your friend is a crappy parent? A commenter asked if you can mention to a friend: HEY! YOU LEAVE YOUR ONE YEAR OLD IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION FOR FIVE HOURS A DAY. (I would send her to my television challenge. But passive aggressive is a superpower of mine. Better than aggressive, I always say. Okay, I never say that. Aggressive is WAY better.)
….when your husband buys toe shoes? And then asks for a week whether I like them? (The best answer I came up with: I like that they’re on your feet and not mine… sweetie?)
….when I post a picture of myself still wearing a wide brown belt and gladiator shoes? Ten years from now?
So what do you do? Do you tell your friends the truth? (And if yes, can I be your friend? I’ll only hate you and your truth for like ten minutes. Maybe a day. I’m kind of sensitive actually. So maybe smile and nod. Unless you say it REALLY nice. Okay now I’m nervous. Forget it. LIE TO ME.)
Answer that makes me want to meet her friend (not necessarily the one with the chin hair. but maybe). D is for Me says: I just can’t bear to made people sad. I was once at dinner with a close friend when I noticed an extremely long hair on her chin. I immediately sent a text to our mutual brutally honest friend passing the burden of pointing it out. It worked best for everyone.
Answer that made me realize there are other weird people too. Laura says: im usually TOO honest. but we have “honest planet” in our house, i got it from my stepmother. you have to tell the truth (TOTAL truth) with less consequences (less of me storming off and brooding about the fact that brian doesnt like dinner-at least he was honest) when asked to answer with “honest planet.” with the toe shoe thing, do you like my shoes? i like that they make you happy…honest planet? I liked them better in the box. at blue ridge. they are ugly.
it’s like a get out of jail free card with giving your opinion…most of the time.