As If We Haven’t Learned Enough About Life This Week

Me: What’d you do today?

E: I pooped out my food.

Me: At school-camp?

E: No before school.

Me: Me, too.

E: You pooped out your food, too?

Me: Yup! Actually EVERYONE poops out their food!

E: Really?

Me: Mama, Dada…

E: N?

Me: Even N. She did it right before I picked you up. All over her car seat!

{I’m so inspired at this point I add}

Me: In fact, even your TEACHERS poop out their food.

{shocked silence}

I can’t WAIT to hear how that goes over at school-camp tomorrow.

(Well, it’s clearly poop week on Late Enough. But it’s also another valuable life lesson by our bottoms: We are all so much more alike than different. Everybody poops!  Okay, I promise to stop finding meaning in diarrhea. Or at least stop sharing it on a daily basis.)

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

31 thoughts on “As If We Haven’t Learned Enough About Life This Week

  1. I can’t wait till E shocks his teachers with that info!! You need to have a hidden camera for that moment. It reminds me of the time I was in Kindergarden and told the principal “I don’t have to call you Mrs. Shorter, my mom says your name is Kate”. Turns out Mrs. Shorter didn’t care to be on a first name basis with me 🙂

    1. HA! Oh and I was so disappointed that it didn’t seem to come up today at school-camp. Or at least no one informed me of said hilarious discussion. Maybe I DO need a hidden camera on E!

  2. You know, In Europe, it’s the little things you miss. Like water in the toilet. In Germany you get a “shelf” instead. After dropping a poop on the shelf you (um…they…the Germans, I mean) turn around and inspect the poop for healthy condition. After passing muster it’s flushed away with a gushing flood/stream of water.

    http://asecular.com/~scott/misc/toilet.htm

    No fair bringing this comment up at the Feelings Doctor.

    1. I was disappointed that it did NOT come up today. But E is also refusing to pee during school-camp and instead insists on running like a maniac to the potty afterwards. So perhaps the subject hasnt naturally come up yet.

      1. If I try to do ANYTHING in the bathroom, wailing ensues. I can at least sneak a quick read during breakfast… I send my sincere condolences regarding the round of poop-tastic nastiness & truly hope (for everyone’s sake!) that it’s all gone. And that I can continue to read Late Enough whilst eating my (irony alert) Fiber One.

        1. well as long as your condolences are sincere 😉

          and yes, i usually end up with two kids and a dog in the bathroom. not conducive to reading. (unless scott is home. then i hide in the bathroom for twenty minutes)

  3. I know we’re on the tv challenge and all, but you must see the Dinosaur Train episode where Tiny sings every dinosaur poops. They even rhyme species and feces. Awesome.

  4. My daughter likes to examine her brother’s poop for signs of previous meals while I’m changing his diaper. (“Look, Mom, mandarin oranges! And black beans, too! And is that some licorice??”) This is a skill she can pull out at parties, don’t you think?

    1. so that totally happened to me the first time i brought N out into a public place around adults. but i changed her and then just wiped the spot off. And still wear the shirt. (hey, it’s cute. except when i remember it had a big old poop on it)

  5. Too funny. How old is E, again? Because at 2 1/2, when I tell H that his banana goes into his tummy and his tummy turns it into poo poos and then the poo poos come out his hiney, I get the silent stare, and I can see through his eyes and into his brain and the little wheels are turning so hard, that he can ALMOST grasp it. But not yet.

    1. E will be 4 at the end of August. And we just broached the food to poop subject about a month ago. He is OBSESSED with the human body book at school. We’ve also learned about neurotransmitters and white blood cells (although they are blue in the book which is TOTALLY CONFUSING!)

      1. you need the TMBG “Here comes science” CD / DVD for that one. there’s a good body song in there, and lots of other fun stuff

  6. When the kids are older you do the three questions without thinking.
    1. Did you flush?
    2. Did you wipe?
    3. Did you wash?

    Living Rooms, friend’s house, fancy restaurant that your son runs…it doesn’t matter. You ask the Three Questions in a loud and clear voice.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.