- Dreary and futile.
- Doin’ the butt! WAHWAHWAH
- So tired I’d like to scrunch up your head like a pillow, slam it to the floor, and sleep on it.
- Dude, is my phone on? Where are those voices coming from?
- Karate CHOP!
- Hungry enough to go zombie on you
- You have nose hair. (I’m only 5’4. I see a LOT of nose hair.)
- Stop staring at my bra-less boobs. Oh, my nipple just poked your eye? Good. (I know a lot of short people, too.)
- My nose is running, I forgot to wear deodorant, and my bangs are pulling a Something About Mary right now.
- I just debated whether I should throw myself down the stairs. Or you.
- Besides this painful ear zit?
- Hold on a second. The person on the other line might be more interesting than you.
- I decapitated Cookie Monster today.
You: No seriously, how ARE you?
Me: I’m much funnier in my head. How are YOU?