I Cannot Believe I Wrote A Post About The Importance Of Poetry And My Butt

My neck hurts and my desk chair is broken. I couldn’t be amusing or cute if you were paying me. (But I would try harder if you were paying me. Do you want my paypal account? Seriously.)

Oh and my dog clearly has an itchy butt. AND SO DO I. I’m pretending that they’re unrelated.

In other news that I CANNOT BELIEVE

I cannot believe I took this AWESOME picture of my daughter and didn’t share.

I cannot believe that oil is still pouring into the Gulf of Mexico. If you are a poet, a friend tweeted out this awesome site where you can send your work inspired by this catastrophe. Poems are written about so many of the events of our lives and our histories. Poems are about love and loss and death and hope. About wars fought in the battlefield and in our homes. The oil spill may be the worst ecologic disaster of our lifetime. So poetry must be written.

Possible titles:

  • Top Kill
  • BP, Be Me
  • Oil Keeps Out The Sun
  • The Wells Of My Heart Aren’t Slick

I cannot believe THEY haven’t invented spell check for the REALLY BAD spellers. I just spent three minutes on “catastrophe.” I google one out of every five words because spell check has NO GUESSES. NO GUESSES is one less guess than I have. Someday, I’ll post without using spell check and you will wonder how I ever graduated from the fourth grade. Oh and the guy who like created the spell-check programs DIED. I am so screwed.

And finally, I cannot believe that after tweeted this about my butt,

I received responses. Because, well, the tweet was about MY BUTT. I underestimate Twitter coolness yet again.

The responses are honest, insightful, and daring – kind of like my butt. In fact, if you wish to write a poem about my butt, please let me know in the comments. I will have a site up shortly. You can also write about my broken chair.

Thank you for caring.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

23 thoughts to “I Cannot Believe I Wrote A Post About The Importance Of Poetry And My Butt”

  1. I did see your tweet about the butt problem – hopefully it is just sympathy itching and not something your dog has actually passed on to you 🙂
    I can’t believe you got so many responses to this!

    As for spell check, I totally agree, it is so annoying to be told you have misspelt something but not be given any ideas on WHY!!!

    Lovely photo by the way too

  2. I’m allergic to Twitter (being on it makes my butt itch) but if I’d read your tweet, I’m sure I would have shown similar interest as those responders above.

    Curious…how do you know that your dog’s butt itches? Can you talk to it like Dr. Doolittle?

    Photo of daughter=awesome.
    .-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Grilled Tomato Bread with Proscuitto =-.

  3. Sorry about your butt itch.

    Annoying. Can you pop a beer, pour some into doggy’s dish and commiserate?

    I’d love to see you write poem for that delicious photo of your daughter. That would be a treat.

  4. Proof of the power of Twitter! Great responses!

    They need to make a “does it make sense” check. I posted something yesterday about my knee popping, except I wrote knew. Spell check said I was good to go. And I posted it – but it didn’t make any sense!
    .-= Natalie´s last blog ..Cuz I Gotta Have Faith =-.

  5. I need that spell check too. The pain, the uncertainty, the inability to look it up because I CAN’T spell it.
    I haven’t found my words about the oil spill. It is shocking and terrifying.
    And this makes me think Twitter has something to offer. May the itches go away.

  6. I’m normally a decent speller but anything with double consonants gets me.

    I have no idea how to spell occassionally or embarrassed or surreptitiously.

    But I can spell mitochondria just fine. Which is great since I use it EVERY DAY.
    .-= KLZ´s last blog ..Dressing Myself =-.

  7. I have the same problem with spell check. Luckily google can usually solve the dilemma (spell check did catch that word for me and had the right possibility listed).

    I hope you have finally conquered the itch. And hopefully washed your hands, foot, wall- whatever it took to get it done.

  8. Alex, I think you may have worms. I’m sorry I said it, it may seem harsh, but seriously. I hope you don’t. But, you probably do. And I’m not even a doctor, like you and your husband. But I am a terrific speller and my father is a pharmacist, so I feel my diagnosis is correct. (I just wrote all those words and spelled them correctly…) So, anyway, you’re a doctor with a itchy hiney and I’m an excellent speller. I hope your butt feels better soon. 🙂

  9. Spell check made me into a terrible speller. I was an excellent speller until I started doing all my work on a computer, which made me need spell check more, and that made me an even worse speller, and on and on. It’s a vicious cycle.

    As for butts, both human and canine, I sympathize. In my experience, canine butt itchiness generally means something gross is on the way, though. Just a heads up.

  10. First of all? That photo is amazing! Your daughter is beautiful!

    And second? How honored am I that my Tweet made it into the blog post? My ass is proud.

  11. Your butt itches so
    Your chair needs a nice new seat
    A pain in your neck!

    As always, I enjoyed your post. Correct spelling is overrated.

  12. Sally’s issue maybe allergy related – I used to babysit for a family whose dog dragged his booty around the house when the allergies flared up. Kind of made me not want to sit on the floor, but that was the least of their housecleaning issues (which I now understand better and fully sympathize with, thanks to small chillins of my own in the middle of our own perpetual disaster zone.)

    Or, Sally may just need an, er, um, wipe. Baby wipes are useful in this department by Sally may not enjoy the process.

    I will not venture to guess on the origins of thine own issues, but wish you speedy relief : )

  13. Those responses are hilarious. Though, let’s be honest, your tweets are so funny it’s not surprising they inspired replies like that.

    And also – I’m a huge fan of hipstamatic, too. Genius app. Works wonders to cover up the iPhones less-than-stellar camera…

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