A crappy picture does NOT diminish how annoyed I am.
Me: Is that a crack in my windshield or a drop of water?

Scott: Oh that’s a crack in your windshield.

Me: When did THAT happen?

Scott: What? I don’t know.

Me: What did you do?

Scott: NOTHING! It happened while you were driving.

Me: No, I would remember something like that. You were driving.

Scott: I was NOT.

Me: When were you going to tell me?

Scott: Maybe it happened when we BOTH had our hands on the wheel.

Me: I can’t believe you cracked my windshield.

Scott: This just went from funny to not-funny.

Me: Well, it’s a little funny. Until I look at your crack in my windshield.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

35 thoughts to “Cracked.”

  1. Well that little interchange and the last line had me laughing, even if Scott was not so amused! Sorry about your windscreen – sometimes when something hits the screen it doesn’t appear to have done any damage and then weeks later a crack will just appear – honest! 🙂

      1. Neither – negotiating with a toddler is far more challenging than the task of any peace negotiator 🙂 My three year old is far harder to successfully negotiate with than the cabling company boardroom executives I used to have to deal with!

  2. I’m all for a conspiracy theory… Our cracked windshields (somehow we have a crack in each!) were clearly caused when the aliens had a battle with the zombies. Of course.

    Our maybe your N and my little one took a joy ride and since they don’t know better haven’t told us about what happened.

    We’ll never know.

    1. Did you know that I’ve read about alien zombie battles TWICE today. You are SO onto something here.

      (N is TOTALLY going to be that teenage girl. I’ll just blame it on your teenager’s influence. From Texas.)

      1. I’m sorry we’re already a bad influence. My first was big into double fisting it early on (apple juice and water baby) and my second is well on her way to being an excellent disruptive force. She has this look, you don’t want me to do that? Ha!!!

    1. I think it says that we’re glad that we are taking about the windshield and not something else. And by something else I mean penises. But not a specific penis. Although I could name names from my past. Thank goodness I ended up with my husband. Now this response is just awkward.

    1. I like that. Except that our home is 50 years old. So I’m kind of getting screwed in this. So maybe I don’t like it. Can’t I just blame him for everything? It’s easier. And FUNNY. TO ME.

    1. Ha! Hey, wait a second… Does that mean you’re gonna kill me too?

      This SUCKS. I don’t WANT to be your husband {pout}

      Well, maybe I can be. If we still have funny conversations and put at least half of them on my blog too.

  3. So…did you figure it out?

    My hubby actually did get a crack in my windshield when I was out of town. For some reason, he drove my car. It cracked all the way from top to bottom!

    PS You might want to check your feed from me…you might need to re’s acting funny!

  4. Did someone just say Vagina Power here? Yup. I must be on the Late Enough blog. Yup. 😛

    This sounds like an exchange between My Guy and me. Never our own fault. Always the other’s. When in doubt, deny, deny, deny!

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