What’s Furry, Four-Legged And Weighs Eighty Pounds? YO MAMA

Just kidding (except the furry part). IT’S A DOG!

And we might adopt her. WAIT WHAT? WHO WROTE THAT?

Do you remember when I wrote that I thought my son deserved a dog?  Clearly that thought has been germinating. 


Three cats.  Two kids under the age of four.  Two immature adults.


(The picture quality is awful because it’s off the flier. I forgot to take some while we visited her. I was too busy LOVING her. And making sure that I wasn’t TERRIFIED of her.)

Her owner is in a nursing home now and his family doesn’t want to keep paying for boarding. (She’s been boarded since October. And the vet staff clearly love her but she needs more room to play. Twenty pounds more room.) She’s seven years old. Healthy and house-trained. A little bit shy. NOT BARKY OR DROOLY.

We brought the kids for a visit to see how she did with them. Since they aren’t old people.  Well, they’re CRANKY like old people.  But they’re a little more speedy and IN YOUR FACE.  Although Betty White is kinda IN YOUR FACE, but I don’t think Sally’s previous owner was Betty White.

And my daughter, WHO HATES DOGS, loves her.

My son isn’t enamored. He isn’t UN-enamored either.  I think if we get her home and playing fetch (instead of ME), he’ll be very happy.

So we gave them our name and number and our veterinarian’s number.  Of course, I am now TERRIFIED that our vet secretly hates us.

First, our vet is always trying to get us to brush our cats teeth. I can’t even get my son to brush his teeth every day. My cats get a pass.  FOREVER.

Second, when we moved our three cats to mostly outdoor animals, they lost weight. BECAUSE THEY WERE SO FAT. Now they are all at healthy weights. But they lost it FAST. And the vet did blood work on one cat JUST IN CASE. Which was totally normal.  We also realized that all the neighborhood cats plus a flock of bluejays and an opossum partake in the cat food. So we now feed them twice as often. (You’re welcome, neighbors.) They were already fine but now they are EXTRA fine.

Scott: So are we getting this dog?


Scott {shrugging}: Then maybe we aren’t supposed to get a dog.

Me: Do you think getting a dog is crazy?

Scott: Yes.

Me: CRAZY-crazy or Alex-crazy.

Scott: Alex-crazy.

Me: Oh, okay. Then we’re getting the dog. But WHAT IF THE VET THINKS WE ARE AWFUL PET OWNERS?

Scott: Good night, Alex.

Me: Good night, Scott.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

32 thoughts to “What’s Furry, Four-Legged And Weighs Eighty Pounds? YO MAMA”

  1. Great story – love the ending and how you come to the conclusion that you are getting the dog. How nice that this dog will get a loving new home – that is one lucky dog to be joining your family

      1. But this sweet girl’s not a puppy, so she will be lower maintenance. And she looks like she looooooves nothing more than a good nap. Good for you for giving her a second home!
        .-= Stacia´s last blog ..Haiku Friday =-.

  2. She is beautiful! Please get her! And by the way, I worked at a vet for over 8 years, and I have 5 cats, and I have NEVER brushed their teeth! And the 3 vets I worked for admitted that they didn’t brush THEIR cats’ teeth, either. That is probably one of those “exercise one hour daily and don’t eat carbs” kind of mantras that is repeated and never followed. Keep us posted on the dog!
    .-= molly campbell´s last blog ..TWITTER FOR THE TWITLESS =-.

  3. Such a cute dog! We have one and she is the “black sheep” of the family. (Poor pooch with an identity crisis) She is more work than my kid. The cats are a breeze.
    Of course I’d love for a happy ending for this dog. But if I had a chance for a pet do over, I’d stick to just my cats for now. We like traveling and we like spending time away from home on weekends and they’re that much harder to do with a dog (especially when we don’t have anyone nearby who can easily dogsit for us).

    It can be tough but if you have a good dog (the white sheep kind) then you’re golden. It will at least feel like all the trouble you’re going through is worth it.
    .-= Justine´s last blog ..Future awkward conversations with my kid =-.

  4. Oh, my did you really mean 80lbs? thats a big dog. or maybe it just seems big to me since my three little dogs all together doesnt even make 30lbs.

    I think all kids should have a dog. Its a very important part of being a child. It allows you to learn several things. Like responsibility, death (cause they always die) and unconditional love.

    You should DO IT!
    .-= SoccerMom´s last blog ..The BIG 2 0- Dedication to my Oldest Child =-.

  5. We have to labs, Alex. One was a pound puppy, so kudos for adopting! It won’t be long before you find you want another one 🙂 I’m still trying to talk the economist into another one but as they say:
    When you have one dog, you’ve got a dog.
    When you’ve got two, you’ve got half a dog.
    Three? You’ve got no dog.
    .-= ettemeyer´s last blog ..I’ve Got Zero Friends =-.

  6. First, Sally looks like a lovely dog – and house trained and past the age of jumping and chewing and not a barker… wow. Sounds like a keeper to me, but I like dogs. Okay, not all dogs. But Sally seems ‘white sheep’ variety to me.
    And we don’t brush any non-human teeth in this house either. Sorry, getting my own teeth twice a day sometimes seems to be more then I can handle.
    .-= Kate´s last blog ..Some days I wonder about the ‘adult’ thing. =-.

  7. you should TOTALLY get the dog!! with the obvious disclaimer that Brian and I are huge dog people. E would LOVE it!

  8. I am scared everytime I go to see your DH he is going to tell us that we are bad parents. I never think that when I take the dogs to the vet. OH NO! Now I have something else to keep me awake at night!

    PS – our little one is only a month older than yours and she can only say one word clearly “doggy”. No Mommy or Daddy for her. I am beginning to think she doesn’t notice us unless she is hungry or tired. Hopefully, N doesn’t become obsessed like C is….grumble.

  9. Congratulations! She’s a beautiful dog. I can’t believe she’s been boarded since October! The poor girl…she’ll be so happy to have a family to love her and a yard to run around in.

    Oh, and getting a dog is crazy-crazy. But it always is. It’s kind of like having a kid, there’s no perfect time, so you just have to dive right in. I’m sure it will be fantastic!

  10. What a wonderful, loving thing to do! The kids will enjoy it sooo very much, I’m sure. I really enjoyed growing up with a dog around, definitely helps prevent that fear-of-them thing. Enjoy! Can’t wait to hear more about her 🙂

  11. You must must get that dog. I recently adopted and I am so glad that I did. I did it for my kid but at the end of the day he has really helped us both so much.

  12. alex-
    i love puppy dogs! and she’s so freakin cute and probably really gentle! E & N will learn tons and get new little buddy! go for it! 🙂

  13. You are a better woman than me. We have a dog, and when she has left this world (which could still be some time), we won’t be getting another. I love her…but as you say, there are enough battles in my home already.

    I hope her transition into your home is smooth! She’ll have a blast I’m sure 🙂
    .-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..A warm TMC welcome =-.

  14. Oh, good for you! I’m not an animal person but I admire those who love and care for animals, especially when they already have kids! You’ve got a busy household! I love “Three cats. Two kids under the age of four. Two immature adults.” LOL
    .-= Cecilia´s last blog ..My First Mother’s Day… =-.

  15. Yeah!!!! That is the best thing about getting an older dog, they are already calm and “trained”. You won’t believe how much you’ll love her, she’ll be so great for the kids and for you and Scott. Congratulations from one cat lover ex-dog hater to another! P.S. Send me some dates you can hang out 🙂

  16. We JUST got a dog about 3 weeks ago. We also have three (very fat and lazy) indoor cats and now a 60 lb German Shepherd. My daughter’s 2 and I swear the dog is like having a SUPER NEEDY toddler. They both cling to my leg except when Sully does it he almost knocks me over. We’ve barely seen the cats during this time but he’s a great watch dog and my daughter (who also HATED HATED HATED HATED dogs) loves him…except when he eats her snack…out of her hand. Have fun! 🙂

  17. yes, dogs are forever toddlers. forever.

    make sure cats tolerate sally. they are the ones who really are the final bosses.

    my cats and dogs have a pass on teeth brushing. i will not let my vet make me feel guilty.

    good luck!!

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