I’m heading off to my ten year college reunion. I would love to write some snarky post about it, but I’ve been pretty snarky all week and I’m starting to feel like I’M THE PROBLEM.
So honestly, I’m just a little freaked out. I haven’t seen any of my college friends since… 2003? And even then it was at my wedding so I didn’t really hang out with ANYONE. So 2002? 2001? A long time.
Today, I consider myself a much kinder and considerate person than when I went to school with my friends. Which is great! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO RECONNECT WITH THAT?
But I’m also less fashionable and have a stomach that’s still convinced I’m 12 weeks pregnant. I’m hoping that’ll just make me less intimidating. Sitting next to the frumpy lady will make YOU look even MORE FABULOUS my alumni friends! Alumnuses. ALUMINUMS. Whatever. Just come SIT WITH ME!
So what’s my problem? I don’t know. Some college friends have reached out over the last few years, which has been awesome. Facebook helps. Many are super supportive of my blog. But when I tried on the ONE DRESS that is reasonable for the dance on Friday night, I wanted to cry. Not because I realized that it’s FROM COLLEGE, but because I wonder why I’m going.
Why do we go to reunions?
My first theory is to show-off. LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL FAMILY AND SUCCESSFUL LIFE. Now my family IS GORGEOUS, and I totally look forward to showing them off. But the success of my life seems not of the straight and narrow kind (although I’ve BECOME more straight and narrow — in an open-minded sort of way. Now I’ve lost you so just ignore me.) I could’ve gone as THE DOCTOR. And some of my friends will. I consider myself a WRITER. But then I think: Who DOESN’T consider themselves a writer? So technically I’m a stay-at-home mom who blogs, had three poems published in the last three years, and will be working on a book come the end of June. Awesome! But so intangible.
My second theory is we go to reunions to RELIVE our AMAZING COLLEGE EXPERIENCE. But it’s just… college wasn’t THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE MY ALMA MATER. But I also screwed around a lot in college (in the physical and not-so-physical definitions). I missed out on a lot of opportunities because I’d rather party or be attached at the hip to the boy I was dating at the time. I could’ve been a better friend, student, girlfriend. I don’t really want to relive the crazies that I went through (IN MY MIND). The late nights. The black-outs. The fireworks thrown out of windows. The missing underwear. I don’t find it glamorous. I’m kinda partial to my pajama pants. And being CONSCIOUS.
I guess that I’m going to my reunion because I want to see my friends. And I want my family to see my school. I want to find the bridge between who I was, who I am, and who I’ll be this weekend.
And I hope to just be Alex. Well, Alex in her little black dress from college that she never actually wore because it didn’t show enough cleavage. But that Alex is like a ninja of awesomeness. And who doesn’t want to reconnect with a ninja who doesn’t put her cleavage all up in your face?
PS. In case my unfashionable two-baby body gets hit on I do have a snarky comeback (because I’m really like a ninja boy-scout but one who has gay scout leaders. Also known as being PREPARED. AND LIBERAL.) Okay. Back to the retort: Dude. What do you think you’re doing? I’m married to a man who is MUCH HOTTER than you. (Because SERIOUSLY! Have you seen my husband?)