Barney and Friends first aired in 1992. I’m an eighth grader heading into high school. The perfect age to hate a GIANT PURPLE DINOSAUR WHO LOVES EVERYTHING. And I remember how cool Sesame Street, Smurfs and Care Bears are. I KNOW that no show will be an kitchy. I laugh anytime Barney is schooled, beaten up, or otherwise humiliated. I cry when I hear that awful theme song. I love NO ONE in my family. I’m far too busy hanging out with my friends!
And even today I have trouble letting my son watch Barney and Friends. I am afraid he’ll like it. He’ll sing that song. He’ll smile in a constant FREAKY way. He’ll lose all sense of rhythm. And that 13 year old girl in me, who still glares at preppy kids, can’t handle it.
Until last night. When my son broke out in song:
Punk Rock Barney theme song
So I created Punk Rock Barney!
I hope PBS is paying attention. The uncool yet wanna-be-cool parents (ME AND SCOTT) would TOTALLY FORCE our children to watch Punk Rock Barney or PRB. (It needs an acronym to retain a full coolness factor.)
PRB will have TONS OF ADVENTURES. He’s the lead guitarist in a band. He tours the world (probably Europe and some random hole in the wall bars throughout the United States run by friends of friends) but learns to say NO TO DRUGS (straight edge baby). He considers getting his fourth tattoo but decides that three is enough. He falls in angst-y love with a preppy rich girl. But then comes to his sense and becomes soul mates with Alterna-Dino Girl (ADG). They stay up until four in the morning gazing into each others’ eyes. They get matching Mohawks. They mosh. And eventually, they break up because PRB needs his SPACE. He’s a MUSICIAN and must be angst-y and forlorn to PLAY. But he writes one hundred songs about ADG. And we all know that they will ALWAYS LOVE EACH OTHER. Life just sucks that way.
This is SUCH A HIT! My son will love it. Let’s make it happen, people!