I’m prepping for a trip on Friday. To New Orléans (Nahr-lins). For a wedding. The first of THREE that I am a bridesmaid in. All three weddings fall within five weeks of each other. PLUS I have my ten-year college reunion in between the first and second wedding and I am INSISTING THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY ATTENDS MY REUNION. (Have you seen my kids? ADORABLE and totally worth showing off! Unless they are cranky and miserable. Then it’s like BIRTH CONTROL for most of my friends. Win-win!)
And I’ll mention this to anyone who will listen because:
- I can’t believe that I have been asked to be in three weddings. I was once asked NOT to be in a wedding (LONG STORY) so my ability to love and care and create meaningful relationships still awes me
- I cannot believe that I will be traveling and socializing this much. It’s not really my forte (the socializing part at least. I’m happy to travel. If I can bring my SHOE COLLECTION with me.)
I leave Friday at 6 a.m.. BY MYSELF. Which means in all likelihood I won’t see my kids from Thursday at 7:30 p.m. until Sunday at 11:30 a.m.. I have NEVER left E for that long of a stretch. And I have never left N for more than a few hours.
I’M FREAKING OUT.
I also realized that I have not flown anywhere alone since BEFORE I WAS MARRIED. At least seven years. (Wow. I feel a touch pathetic.)
Now I am not nervous about flying. I flew a week AFTER 9/11 but BEFORE the crazy airport rules. I had like the whole plane to myself.
What I am terrified about is PACKING. I like to have ALL MY STUFF with me. Including MANY MANY shoes. Plus I don’t even understand the airline rules. I pay $50 to have my makeup and lotion taken at the security check?
Oh and I ALWAYS get flagged. It’s probably because I wasn’t scared to fly after 9/11.
And when the dress arrived in the mail? I didn’t think that I could zip it up. And I nearly had a heart attack. Buying the wrong size dress is about the worse thing a bridesmaid can do. After sleeping with the groom. Or vomiting on the wedding dress. But I CAN zip it WITH HELP. And the tailor is letting it out SO I CAN EAT during the wedding.
But my biggest fear is that my children will forget me and only ever want to spend time with their dad from then on. Oh and that my dog is going to growl out me like a stranger. (Because I have a smallish fear of dogs, these are equally as frightening. PS. I have a dog.)
I’m also concerned that I will be SAD the entire time. I worry that the Alex I’ve become is so dependent on my family and routine that I won’t know what to do with myself.
And then I think SLEEP. WRITE. TELEVISION WITHOUT ANIMATION. FANCY DRESSES. PEDICURES. And I feel better.
But can you come with me just in case?