I Am Planning To Freak Out In New Orleans. Wanna Come?

Flying from Virginia to Louisiana

I’m prepping for a trip on Friday. To New Orléans (Nahr-lins). For a wedding. The first of THREE that I am a bridesmaid in. All three weddings fall within five weeks of each other. PLUS I have my ten-year college reunion in between the first and second wedding and I am INSISTING THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY ATTENDS MY REUNION. (Have you seen my kids? ADORABLE and totally worth showing off! Unless they are cranky and miserable. Then it’s like BIRTH CONTROL for most of my friends. Win-win!)

And I’ll mention this to anyone who will listen because:

  1. I can’t believe that I have been asked to be in three weddings. I was once asked NOT to be in a wedding (LONG STORY) so my ability to love and care and create meaningful relationships still awes me
  2. I cannot believe that I will be traveling and socializing this much. It’s not really my forte (the socializing part at least. I’m happy to travel. If I can bring my SHOE COLLECTION with me.)

I leave Friday at 6 a.m.. BY MYSELF. Which means in all likelihood I won’t see my kids from Thursday at 7:30 p.m. until Sunday at 11:30 a.m.. I have NEVER left E for that long of a stretch. And I have never left N for more than a few hours.

I’M FREAKING OUT.

I also realized that I have not flown anywhere alone since BEFORE I WAS MARRIED. At least seven years. (Wow. I feel a touch pathetic.)

Now I am not nervous about flying. I flew a week AFTER 9/11 but BEFORE the crazy airport rules. I had like the whole plane to myself.

What I am terrified about is PACKING. I like to have ALL MY STUFF with me. Including MANY MANY shoes. Plus I don’t even understand the airline rules. I pay $50 to have my makeup and lotion taken at the security check?

Oh and I ALWAYS get flagged. It’s probably because I wasn’t scared to fly after 9/11.

And when the dress arrived in the mail? I didn’t think that I could zip it up. And I nearly had a heart attack. Buying the wrong size dress is about the worse thing a bridesmaid can do. After sleeping with the groom. Or vomiting on the wedding dress. But I CAN zip it WITH HELP. And the tailor is letting it out SO I CAN EAT during the wedding.

But my biggest fear is that my children will forget me and only ever want to spend time with their dad from then on. Oh and that my dog is going to growl out me like a stranger. (Because I have a smallish fear of dogs, these are equally as frightening. PS. I have a dog.)

I’m also concerned that I will be SAD the entire time. I worry that the Alex I’ve become is so dependent on my family and routine that I won’t know what to do with myself.

And then I think SLEEP. WRITE. TELEVISION WITHOUT ANIMATION. FANCY DRESSES. PEDICURES. And I feel better.

But can you come with me just in case?

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

39 thoughts on “I Am Planning To Freak Out In New Orleans. Wanna Come?

  1. Oh Alex! I’m coming with you. To crazy town AND New Orleans. Because it would definitely be both for me if I left my family too. I am also wildly addicted to shoes (believe it or not) and totally neurotic about leaving my children with anyone. I even feel sad if my husband takes them to the park for a few hours without me so I can sleep or work on my blog or something.

    Did I mention that I am slightly neurotic? Make that more than slightly. But anyway, the thought of “SLEEP. WRITE. TELEVISION WITHOUT ANIMATION. FANCY DRESSES. PEDICURES.” really is wonderful and amazing. I am going to overcome my fears. Do you mind if I stow away in your suitcase?

    PS And I really want to hear the details on your reunion. I have never been to one yet and it sounds fabulous. We are actually going as a family to my husband’s this fall in San Antonio. I’m a little bit terrified. But hopefully it will be a lot of fun.

    Good luck! And big hugs. XOXOXOX

    1. Thanks! I’m so excited to have company! (in neurotic-ville at least)

      And as though I wont be blogging about my 10 year reunion like it’s the end of the world. Im thinking of hiring a fashion consult… shhh.. dont tell.

    1. My husband is already mentioning how TIRED he’ll be on Sunday when I return. So I’m definitely going to focus on the APPRECIATED aspect. And just trust you that my kids wont forget me.

      1. p.s.
        don’t be disappointed if your hubby doesn’t admit his appreciation for your parenting superpowers when you return… he may be too tired to utter complete sentences… and he also may pretend it was tooootallllllly easy, but you can rest easy knowing the truth : )

  2. Just re-read your Mother’s Day post – imagine, half a week to sleep, watch tv and just do whatever you want (except when you’re in the wedding and on the plane of course)!

    Re: airport rules. I haven’t been on a plane in a year but the last time I did these were the rules – Don’t bring on board anything more than 3 oz and put this stuff in a small ziploc bag. (Anecdote from a friend who did this:) Don’t wear an underwire bra (seriously – the detector could go off). Wear shoes you can easily slip on and off because you’ll have to keep taking them off and putting them on again.

    Your kids: They will never forget you! Absence makes the heart grow fonder 🙂

    Have a great trip!! (Remember, more blog fodder!!)
    .-= Cecilia´s last blog ..Could I have been “Greater”? =-.

  3. Hey, at least you don’t have to pump on this trip. Both times I left my daughter and husband to go out of town I was still breastfeeding, and had to pump and then lug my cooler of breast milk through the airport, dump the ice before security, say “hey, this is a cooler full of breast milk” to the male body-builder type manning the xray machines, get more ice and then wait for an airplane and hope I wasn’t leaking all over my shirt when the flight was delayed 3 times. But I got to hang out in NYC so it was all worth it.
    .-= stayathomemd´s last blog ..Will Elena Kagan Support Gay Rights? =-.

    1. That is exactly why I did NOT attend an out-of-town wedding last year. I just couldn’t handle the pumping paraphernalia. (and my daughter was struggling with weight and breastfeeding at the time so I probably would’ve ended up in a wean had I gone… which I wasn’t willing to do)

  4. I’m impressed. Go, have fun, feel the world open to you. Someday, someday I’ll go without the kids.
    For now, I’m thinking I’m crazy with three trips (WITH kids) within about 5 weeks. Not yet. Soon. God help us all.
    Just remember you’re not packing for three – and you can just sit and read or sleep or do nothing on the plane.
    And I’m wondering if we made the right call for our college reunion — going with kids too. Will that be great? Oh dear.

  5. This cracked me up! I would love to go to N’arlins with you and watch you walk all stiff like in your ‘I really can’t breathe in this dress’. 🙂 I’m sure you’re going to have a great time and look beautiful. Have Fun!

  6. There are worse things that buying a dress that is too small. For example, forgetting your bridesmaid dress at home, thus requiring your friend/neighbor to break into your house, get the dress from where you left it hanging on the door, and FedEx it to you.

    And yet, I still managed to have fun at your wedding. 😉

  7. How about being told, at 9 months gestation, that “we’ll need your CURRENT measurements” for this bridesmaid dress? I tried to explain, and was told that bridal shops often work with women who promise to take off the weight, but it never happens.
    Of course, I did explain that at least nine pounds would be coming off any day now.
    In the end, they had to take the waist of that dress in about 11 inches, and it still looked ridiculous.
    That said, I love weddings! You will have a great time! Your kids will miss and not forget you!
    .-= Leslie´s last blog ..Courage under love — and a little fire =-.

    1. I seriously think that deserves an Angie’s list writeup for WORST bridal store ever.

      and I hope you did a kung fu momma move and gave that nasty alterations lady a little something like “what? huh? how bout that? ELEVEN inches, sister, yeah, what’s up??? how do you like me now??”

  8. Yeah I’ll come with you. I am good at being without my kids so I’ll teach you. At first it’s hard and then you take some pills and get an US magazine and some chips at the airport and everything is okay. The wedding is going to be awesome and you will miss the kids but it’s an adventure and we’re all expecting a blog post about it.
    .-= tara´s last blog ..The Fish is Dead. Like Michael Jackson. And Alex’s Grandpa. =-.

  9. I’d be flipping out too. I have only left my kids for one overnight mandatory work trip. And I must have sent my husband 400 emails and 39 voicemails. If he had a FB and Twitter account, he would have had to shut em down. Try to enjoy it – might be another 7 before you do it again!

  10. If I could I would join you in a heart beat. Really, getting away IS totally my thing. I do it lots, the first time was hard, oh so hard, but after that it was easy, oh so easy. And a pedicure, I’d about ditch anything for that right now.

    Go have a blast, and trust me, they will just love you MORE when you get back.
    .-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Happiness From Trying Again =-.

    1. I totally admire you for getting away. It’s taken me SO LONG to realize that a night off CHANGES EVERYTHING. (Or at least for a week. Then I need to go AGAIN.)
      I’m thinking that I may enjoy the weekend enough to GET USED TO THIS!

  11. I don’t feel guilty about going away. I haven’t been away from my family alone for more than one night, but with my husband? We’re planning a four-night getaway in two weeks. I. cant. wait. Have fun and enjoy your freedom. Of course you’ll miss your family a little, after the first night, maybe, but you’ll also have fun.

    Seriously, though, we all need a little time off. Enjoy yourself! (And I’ve always wanted to go to New Orleans.)
    .-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..Being Brave =-.

  12. tooooootally jealous! how fun!
    two things you should be excited about:

    1) you only have to pack for YOU (what? no way!)

    2) you can have a purse and NO DIAPER BAG!

    sweeeeeeeeeeet mother of two,
    you’d better have a whole lotta fun while you can!
    …and don’t beat yourself up when you wake up at 6, can’t go back to sleep, miss your babies, want to snuggle something other than your hotel pillow, or all of the above – you are deserving of a break, and totally allowed to miss the cute ones at home too – ENJOY!

    woohooooo!!

  13. Have so much fun! You are totally normal in your thoughts. Even on our 48 hour Babymoon I thought about Riley constantly and when Robby slipped out to go the airport and left me in Georgetown by myself I wanted to cry. Where has my adventurous Flight Attendant Chara spirit gone?! But once you get reconnected with your girlfriends and baptized by the bridesmaid water you’ll be having a blast and will probably be glad you are by yourself.
    .-= Chara´s last blog ..Week 28: Officially into Third Trimester! =-.

  14. have fun! I’m jealous. I’ve never been to New Orleans and I want to go but my husband went for his bachelor party and I’m sure did some unseemly things so I dont know if he’d want to go back with me!

    I am in my first wedding in September. I am kind of freaking out because the tailor measured me at a size I am convinced will be too small. My friend the bride told me to get that size so I did, and I am in panic mode already. Argh. Good to know they can be let out.

    Have a great trip.
    .-= Rachel @ MWF Seeking BFF´s last blog ..Frosted. Corn. Bran. Flakes Come in All Varieties. =-.

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