Over the weekend Scott asks: Can I buy a hammock?
Me: {shrugging} Sure.
Scott loves relaxing and the hammock seems a perfectly easy way to make him happy. And here is our son enjoying the hammock.
Which turns out to be a very TEACHABLE MOMENT. Because my husband is planning on us becoming TREE PEOPLE.
Do I hear you thinking: What are tree people?
Why they’re people who live in the trees POST-APOCALYPSE. You haven’t heard of them? Well, that’s because my husband MADE THEM UP.
But they are loosely based on Sid the Science Kid, a PBS cartoon. Specifically, the pulley episode. And since there seems to be only four episodes total, you may have seen it! Or go to this link and scroll down the sidebar FOREVER until you see the pulley song. Basically, the tree people use a pulley system to bring EVERYTHING into their tree home. We, meanwhile, will be living in a hammock. In this tree:
Scott goes on to inform me that he has diagrammed the attic-to-roof and roof-to-tree ratios and the tools needed to reach the tree in case of FAST MOVING ZOMBIES.
Of course, the 28 Days Later zombies could probably make the leap to our new home, also known as a TREE, as well as we can. So we’re kinda hoping for World War Z zombies, i.e., slow flesh-eating monsters who CANNOT climb trees.
Of course, I point out: The slow zombies will pile up around the tree and then climb each other to eat us. (I’m no dummy.)
But Scott replies: Ah, but every lower branch we cut is also a SPEAR.
Point taken. But I still think battening down the hatches in a Home Depot or Target would be better. (Yes, in fact, this conversation occurs so regularly in our home that I bought my husband this t-shirt for Christmas.)
Regardless of who or what brings the apocalypse (zombies, nuclear war, the Tea Party, a giant meteor), we are prepared.
Yes, that is four gallons of water and a hand crank radio. And we are currently debating how to legally obtain strong antibiotics. I was also informed a few months ago that if we ever have work done on a wall in our home, Scott may or may not dry wall a gun into that space.
I’ll just start praying for the really really slow zombies. Like the world being attacked by ELDERLY ZOMBIES. Since we’ll need to BREAK DOWN A WALL and LEAP INTO A TREE to survive.
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I’m laughing too hard to come up with a good reply. LOVE it.
.-= Mandy´s last blog ..With Wings =-.
I worry about a lot of things, but I’ve never worried about zombies. I think you’re approach is a good one, though. We have a tree that looks promising, and I’ve seen that episode of Sid the Science Kid, so I’ll buy a hammock and we’ll be all set. Right?
In all seriousness, your posts are hilarious! Do you guys really talk about this stuff? I’d love to be a fly of the wall…
We totally talk about this… Ever since reading World War Z. I’m just waiting for my son to pick up on it and present escape routes at his preschool. Then we may get a phone call. Or two.
I can’t decide whether it would be really exciting to live at your house or really scary, but no matter how you cut it I don’t imagine there would be a dull moment.
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last blog ..Blogtrotting =-.
EXCITING!! (except for the sweeping floors and doing dishes parts)
I love how far you go with this stuff. The t-shirt you bought for Christmas just confirms my latest post about how everybody is crazy!!! LOL
.-= D. Rene.´s last blog ..Are you Cuckoo? =-.
Crazy just comes so natural to us :)
If Swiss Family Robinson could outwit the pirates, I bet you and your husband can take the zombies. No prob.
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Splitting Heirs =-.
I agree (but probably should read The Swiss Family Robinson before commenting further).
LOL – the economist I’m married too is the same way, Alex…Mr. Must-Save-The-Planet (usually from the wife, me) always checks if I’ve recycle the “right numbered” plastics, has plan for every conceivable zombie invasion possible and insist that we build a tree house in the backyard…though we have no kids, just two labs who like to swing in the creek and chase the trespassing squirrels…you know, just in case they’re zombies in the making.
.-= ettemeyer´s last blog ..I’ve Got Zero Friends =-.
He wants y’all to be tree people too! We’ll have a COLONY! (can i come to the tree house when the hammock gets crowded?)
I am SO coming to your house when the elderly zombies of the apocalyse invade because all the trees in our yard are very very small, practically bushes, or tall weeds and we would NEVER SURVIVE at all. Meanwhile, that hammock looks really comfortable. Do you think it would stay up if attached to two large weeds?
We have some durable weeds here so I’ll test it out. Otherwise, you can come on up. But bring your hammock because ours is crowded.
P.S. I just saw the t-shirt you got your husband. Cool!
I got My Guy this:http://www.threadless.com/product/632/In_Case_of_Zombies
.-= Justine´s last blog ..My playground faux pas =-.
That shirt is awesome. Im glad that we aren’t alone (or at least that there will be other survivors)
Oh, I think we were a bit that way until we had one too many false alarms, like the Y2 scare or whatever that was called – when we went into the 21st century and everyone was warned to get plenty of water in case the world blew up. And we also bought water and candles, etc. for a hurricane that was more like April showers. I know, I should knock on wood. Anyway, at least you are prepared! The dinosaurs certainly weren’t. (PS – nice hammock! I could never get onto one without falling…)
E fell like three times… which is why it’s so low to the ground in that picture. Safety. And why this tree thing is going to be trickier than we initially thought.
We have World War Z, Zombieland, and The Zombie Survival Guide in our house. I think your family and my family should meet and come up with a strategy on what we will do to save the world from the Zombie Apocalypse.
It’s all up to us, I just know it.
.-= Justine´s last blog ..My playground faux pas =-.
Oh, we’re dead meat…cuz my husband and I are too fat, dumb, and happy to think 5 minutes ahead of our game.
You’re a lucky, lucky woman….
Say you’ll miss me?
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Flaming Skulls in the Sky =-.
I’ll miss you. Could you stand in front of my house in case we need extra time? I mean if you aren’t planning on surviving anyway…
This has got me scared. I have nothing prepared at all. I do have a lot of medication and alcohol. And candy cigarettes. Other than that…NOT PREPARED!
.-= tara´s last blog ..Introducing Cinderella, Less Rella, More Cinders =-.
ooh! candy cigarettes! my son took six pieces of trident gum and made a bandage for thomas the train so I think that we can work with that
Too funny. I take it you guys watch alot of horror flicks?
I also have a box of “in case of disaster strikes” under our stairs (where we go for tornados) and It has everything from plastic gloves to canned food to flash lights and a picture of Jesus.
We are well prepared for the “What if”.
I LOVE that it includes a picture of Jesus. In case he comes back you can flash it at him and say: SEE!!! WE LOVE YOU!! Can we have your autograph?
My oldest is reading this over my shoulder as I am and when we finish he says, “See, I told you zombies were real!”. This is why the boy is never allowed to read over my shoulder. Also, I now have a whole day coming of listening about zombies.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Blogiversary =-.
Oops! Who knew my posts wouldn’t be PG-13? I even use FREAKIN.
Who knew a hammock could take you so far? We’re considering one, but if it means we’re living in the tree, I’m not sure. Oh heck, I like trees. And having an escape route to the tree tops might help. You never know.
Hammocks are so much more than meets the eye.
(PS. My son fell out three times already. You have been warned.)
If your husbands like “the Road” in either book or movie format (author also wrote “all the pretty horses”- very much a guy movie) then you should buy them World War Z. they will love it. And it makes gift buying very easy for the next few holidays. I already asked for a water filter for my birthday. And I’d be more than happy with pretty much any blunt object if my wife just called it something like “A special Zombie-killing stick”
My husband worries every time we have a storm – which here in Texas is quite often! If the winds get bad he starts making his plans and preparations for “imminent” tornados building his siege room in the downstairs bathroom……..Yes, definitely a guy thing preparing for the (un)inevitable!
.-= Aging Mommy´s last blog ..Three Is A Magic Number =-.
You totally need to get pictures of that and blog it out… I would love to see the bathroom prepped.
Most definitely a guy thing! My S. was just telling about the movie “The Road” coming out on DVD soon – a post apocolypse father and son story. I think your S. and my S. should have a date night. I’ll buy the popcorn.
Shhh… Can I come to the movie date too? I want to see The Road (I may have read it BEFORE Scott did…) And anyway FREE POPCORN!
We are not into apocalyptic events in this house. We actually giggled all the way through 2012–but they deserved that with the killer neutrinos that set it all up. Oh, and the cell phones that worked just fine with all those neutrinos bashing around. And the towers collapsing.
We did enjoy “Shawn of the Dead.” Do we get points for Simon Pegg?
.-= The Mother´s last blog ..Grab the Butterfly Net! =-.
So my husband laughed his way through 2012, too. You just never know which apocalyptic movie or book is going to create concern in our home. (And he also loved Shawn of the Dead)
And yes, you can come over when the world ends and have some water… as long as you haven’t been bitten.
I think I like your husband. Except maybe the living in trees part.
.-= The Mother´s last blog ..Grab the Butterfly Net! =-.
This has to be a dude thing. My husband, too, is worried about the apocalypse. He wants to raise chickens and make a garden. (Though with his work hours, he really has no time to do this and I am NOT dealing with chickens. Plus, it’s against our township’s code.)
I actually did my master’s thesis on dystopias, which is a close cousin of apocalypse. And the movie 28 Days Later gave me nightmares for months.
Have you read The Road? Freaky.
.-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..Pregnant in Paris =-.
Ooh, I love dystopia fiction/scifi…
And I read The Road and liked it enough to give it four stars on Goodreads, but I wished he had fleshed the apocalypse more… (can you read my review if you click the link? http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6288)
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