E is very interested in the spice drawer.
As he holds up a container of cumin, he says: Mama? What’s this?
I reply: It’s cumin sweetie.
E: You’re right!
And he puts it back. And we begin again. With oregano. It’s like a game show. And I am AWESOME at it.
But recently, he’s been taking the tops off. And doing some EXTRA exploration.
So this week I’m making dinner and he’s looking in the spice drawer. I say: Don’t open the tops.
Ten minutes later I smell allspice. EVERYWHERE.
I feel that anger well up inside me. The mess. The exhaustion. The unfinished meal. I don’t want to sweep. I want to YELL: I TOLD YOU NOT TO OPEN THOSE. I want a son who LISTENS. I want a daughter who let’s me PUT HER DOWN SOMETIMES.
I take a breathe. And in my desperation to be the mom I want to be, I spy my camera. I grab it off the counter. Because through the lens it’s FUNNY. He has three tablespoons of allspice in his SHIRT POCKET. N shows up. And is now covered in allspice too. And I’m glad that she’s joined us. We clean together. We smell fantastic. And we manage to not burn dinner.
I get to be the mom I want to be. Because I grabbed my camera instead of my anger. Because I knew you would laugh with me. Thank you.
Hosted by Cecilyand Pam