Humble Pita

Yesterday morning I wake up. I get dressed in a semi-hip outfit beause I am almost my pre-pregnancy size. I put on MAKE-UP.

HELLO WORLD.

N and I get ready to run errands while E is in preschool. We pick up shoes for a wedding that I’m in. We get her a sippy cup that I forgot to bring. We have the checks to deposit. And I get to go to one of my favorite restaurants, Pita Palace. YUM.

I walk in feeling good and accomplished. High-fiving myself.

And the kid (maybe 20 years old) behind the counter says: Hi again. (I really like pitas. And falafel.)

I say: Hi.

I go ahead and order. And he asks: Is it to go?

I reply: No but can I have a to-go bag because y’all (I like to throw down a little southern here and there) don’t have high chairs so I’m not sure how long the little one will last.

He rings up my order and say: I’m going downtown tonight

And I think: OMG HE IS ABOUT TO ASK ME OUT. I’M A DECADE OLDER THAN HIM AND I’VE BEEN HERE WITH MY HUSBAND. THIS IS SO AWKWARD. AND I’M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO GET PITAS AGAIN. ACK.

He continues: and I’ll try to bring a high chair back from our downtown location.

And I say much too brightly: THANK YOU.

And then I settled down to eat my humble pita. With a side of real life.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

34 thoughts to “Humble Pita”

  1. LOOOOOOVED THIS! LOVVED THIS!!!!!!

    Fantastic!

    I love the “y’all” in there for a little more emphasis, I can just imagine the sweeping hand gesture that went with it.

    How funny. How very, very funny.

    This one should be submitted to that new website, LOL, that takes self submissions of funny posts. THis one is great. You just go on to LOL, and send the link in of the post you want to submit. I have a button for the place on the front page of my blog.

    This one HAS GOT TO BE SENT IN!!!

  2. I love this! I had a similar experience.

    I go into my daughters kindergarten class to drop off a sweater for her, I volunteer in the class so the kids know me. So I go in, given Kendal the sweater without causing too much disruption, and a little boy is smiling and staring at me! He says, “hey Kendal is this your sister?” Well I am soo flattered and I smugly say, “oh I love you, how sweet!” Well, I forgot that my 3 year old daughter was right behind me!

    I was, am and will forever be very very embarrassed!
    .-= Abeyance´s last blog ..I received an award!!!!!! =-.

  3. Funny. This reminds me of my library tales–the guy behind the counter seemed surprised that I liked COOL STUFF. He was young and almost handsome. (Is that mean?) It mattered to me that he thought I was cool. Actually, he was probably not even looking at my titles, but in my head, he was calling me a MILF.
    .-= Jana @ Attitude Adjustment´s last blog ..I Don’t Want a Dog =-.

    1. Ha! I totally remember that post! And I can SO relate to wanting to be cool. It’s just not possible for me. I don’t listen to enough new music and when your music quotient falls, everything pales in comparison. I seriously heard Lady Gaga for the first time last month. Because a BLOG put a video up of her. I’m so lame.

  4. having never returned to pre-pregnancy size, i don’t know what you’re talking about.
    but, also, i DO.
    it is a great post, and don’t kid yerself, he was about to ask you out, but lost his nerve!
    .-= cake´s last blog ..hidden treasure =-.

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