Left Begins With O

E is learning the difference between left and right in school.  They do the Hokey Pokey. (Yes, I did just get that song in your head. And I’m sorry).  He often comes home with a sticker on his right hand to help him discern this difficult lesson.

(Full disclosure: I can only wink my left eye.  God’s gift to me because I’m NOT WINKING AT YOU.  I’m trying to figure out where that LEFT TURN is.)

Of course, once I know that E is learning something at school, I incorporate it into our home very smoothly.

Me: HEY E!!  WHERE’S YOUR LEFT ARM?

E: (raises left hand) Here it is!

Me: That’s RIGHT!

E: (lowers hand. raises right arm) HERE IT IS!!

Me: No. That’s your right arm.

E: NO IT’S MY LEFT.

Me: No it’s your right.

E: IIIIT’S MYYYYYY LEEEEEFFFTT.

Me: (do I continue arguing? does it matter to me whether he knows his right or left? But he’s needs it FOR SCHOOL.)  No. It’s not.

E: (exasperated but more self-confident) Yes, Mama.  It is my left.

Me: Okay. (defeated.  FOR NOW!)

Later in week (also known as yesterday)…

Me: HEY E!!  WHERE’S YOUR LEFT ARM?

E: (raises left arm) Here it is!

Me: That’s RIGHT!

(Oh my goodness.  I’m so stupid.)

E: (lowers hand. raises right arm) HERE IT IS!!

Me: (grasping at straws. stupid ones.) E if you put your left hand up it looks like an “L”.

(Full disclosure: I had to wink.  They both look like “L” to me.  I’m not dyslexic.  I’m just… well, me.)

E: (looks at my hand.  Looks at me.) No.  My arm looks like an “O.”

Thereby confirming my stupidity.

And encouraging me to pray that he inherited the winky-eye, too.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

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