If You Smell Them, They Will Come

Spring weather has finally arrived and we are OUTSIDE!  Now there are many typical scenarios that you may see us in (for example, E already spent an afternoon nude-y-pants rolling in last year’s garden as N put his pants on her head and laughed hysterically).  But even I, the veteran mom of three and a half YEARS, can be surprised.

E: MAMA!!  MY FEET!! MY FEEET!!

Me: What? What? (looking at his feet.  like a dope.)

E: (he points up. duh.) My feet are floating away!

Me: (a bit alarmed.) Oh!

And like any self-respecting Mama, I begin jumping up and down throwing my hands in the air.  Because I have FEET to catch.

E: Oh Mama. They are too high!  You can’t reach them!

Me: OH NO!! (said with geniune fear because now I’m not sure how this story is going to end.  And I’m a little worried it may end with me carrying forty pounds everywhere he needs to go for the rest of the day.)  What are we going to do?

E: Look Mama! (He points up and left and around the tree and right and lower and lower.) They are coming back! (pausing dramatically) Into my SHOES!

Me: Phew! (wipe brow)

Perhaps this is why E has taken 45 pictures of his feet.  So the MISSING poster will be easy to make.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on LateEnough.com, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

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