Your Kid’s Gifted? Mine, Too!

I find my son’s teacher to be completely intimidating.  She is quiet and kind and thoughtful. Terrifying, right?  Actually, it’s me. I don’t want to be THAT MOM.

You know, the mom who thinks her child is GIFTED.  Or the mom who thinks her child is IGNORED.  Or is TROUBLED.  Or whatever family myth the child has been given.  Or earned.

I’m not saying that some of these moms don’t have gifted, troubled, or ignored children.  Maybe they do.  I just wonder if ALL the kids in the class are gifted, the standards are probably a little low.  Because that would be IMPOSSIBLE (unless the kids are in the gifted program — point taken).

I mean how many geniuses, psychopaths, and weird kids are actually out there?   And where are they amid all these NORMAL adults I keep running into? Did they all grow out of it?  Are they in jail?   Are they in a laboratory somewhere making little genius clones of themselves?

Regardless of this fear, I could not resist emailing my son’s teacher and telling her all the leaps and bounds he is making in language.   I thought that she should KNOW.   Then I thought that no one else should know about the email.  (Darn you stupid blog.)

E has always been VERY verbal which it isn’t surprising since I talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.   And when he was born, we had only lived here for ten months, and I didn’t have many friends.  So I talked and talked and talked and talked to HIM.

Also, I was a GREAT first-time mom, which translates into being TOTALLY TERRIFIED of him watching television.  So more TALKING!

I would walk down the grocery aisle and tell him everything we were buying.   He would spit-up at me in that loving way.  And the other shoppers would wonder why I was talking to the cream cheese.

As I write this, I realize that I’m giving myself a LOT of credit here.   If I had to guess, my son would’ve probably been pretty verbal without me. I’m not THAT POWERFUL, right?

Now, I’m not saying that he is the SMARTEST KID IN THE WORLD, but don’t want to be the mom who hides his achievements either.

So I wrote the teacher.  And SURPRISE!  Now I feel awkward.

Because I wonder… Does THAT MOM’s kids get treated differently? Better?  Worse?

Honestly, I don’t want to know.  So what if I sent one email.   (Well, two, because I wanted to know how he is transitioning to his new classroom.)  But that’s not TOO MANY, is it?   Be careful how you answer that. I’m paranoid enough.

This post also appears on The Mommies Network.

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

12 thoughts to “Your Kid’s Gifted? Mine, Too!”

  1. here’s what you do. you send an email asking about how he’s doing with the transition. THEN you add, as a total aside, something you just this instant came up with, that his language skills have really taken off lately. maybe even speculate that there’s a correlation–could it be? surely, teacher, you would know better than i! leave her free to surmise that no, no correlation exists, it’s just E, because he’s a genius.

    trust me.

  2. …talk about gifted, my ten month old just turned on the TV (I know you are not a fan of Television, but we have and need one:-)) and sat there watching. How the hell she managed to push the correct button is beyond me. How´s that for being gifted???

    1. Oh I have developed an appreciation for tv, Ingrid — how else does one cook dinner or answer the phone or put the younger kid down for nap? I’m pretty sure N is learning how to use my iPhone. Oh well.
      Oh my goodness, Vikki. You are a GENIUS!! Subtle yet awesome….
      And thanks my teacher-friends!! I may be able to make eye contact with E’s teacher now 😉

  3. Trust me, darlin, you couldn’t possibly be THAT MOM. You are interested in the teacher’s feedback and trust her as a thoughtful professional (therefore, by definition, you can’t be THAT MOM — aka one who doesn’t believe that anyone else can possibly understand her little genius).
    Sharing your observations, asking questions… those are the signs of a helpfully involved parent. Also, you are being respectful of her time by not cornering her during the day — she can get back to you when she gets a chance.
    Now she can corroborate his genius in language development 😉 and share her thoughts on the transition. I say — good work!

  4. How did you get the keys into my brain? Seriously! A post every mom can relate to I think…except for those whose kids are NOT gifted…because we both know no one is as smart as E or the Roo, right? As a former teacher, I might have taken it as a compliment to my teaching by you saying how verbal E is…or at least find solace that I’m not screwing him up. :o) No need to feel paranoid or awkward. Trust me. The teacher as gotten crazier emails.

  5. Can totally relate to overanalyzing an email to a teacher! i do the same thing. I think a teacher would take your words as a compliemtn and appreciate that you were staying in touch w a positive message! Imagine all the pain-in-the-a#% emails teachers get on a regular basis. 🙂 P.S. Just found your blog, new to the blogosphere.

  6. Yay! Glad you found my blog and MORE IMPORTANTLY that you can relate! It's nice to have company in AWKWARD-ville 😉 Yes, I'm pretty sure that my son's teacher hasn't thought about the email five-seconds after reading it and thinking “that's nice.”

  7. Found this post by way of your most recent one; you may be aware of it by now, but the teacher was most likely not bothered by your email at all. And I’m commenting on this old post so that I could possibly change your thinking on this “emailing the teacher” thing. Oh, I guess I should add that I’m a teacher. I teach high school, but still kids, nonetheless.

    Your email to the teacher probably felt more like a compliment to her. As in “with the help of his parent-teacher team,” your son has grown so much in that area. And the inquiry about him transitioning to another class only shows the teacher that you are concerned about his progress and success in the class. We love parents like you.

    Just so you know (not that you’ll ever do this), the emails that bother us are the ones that say, “My child has a D in your class. Why?!” Well, the fact that it’s a mere TWO days before the term ends, it shows your level of concern. And then don’t ask ME why he has a D — look at his grades (and all his missing work) and ask HIM.

    You get my drift?

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