Baby Blackout

I had my first baby blackout last night.  I, of course, didn’t know that because I was in a BLACKOUT.

But this morning went a little like this:

Me: Did N wake up last night?

Hubby: What? Yes.

(Pause to tend to children.  Set up breakfast)

Hubby: Alex?  Don’t you remember N waking up?

Me:  No. Why?  What do you mean? (I’m feeling weird now)

Hubby: Well… you came in to her nursery and asked me if I need anything.  I said that I was sorry we woke you up but I couldn’t find the paci but now I have it.  And you said okay and went back to bed.

I am stunned.  The whole reason my husband usually gets up first is because once I’m awake, I AM AWAKE.  For hours.  To say that I have mild sleep issues is A LIE.

Let’s see:

  • I don’t fall asleep quickly.
  • I don’t stay asleep well.
  • I don’t go back to sleep easily.
  • Oh and I don’t nap.

Because I HATE SLEEPING.  Hence, all sleep problems our children have are rightfully blamed on me.  I would stay awake 24/7 if I wasn’t a HUMAN BEING.  But I am.  So I sleep.

But I have NEVER had a baby-induced blackout.  Even when E was waking up every 2-3 hours for months and months and months and months and months and months AND MONTHS.  Never.  I have never walked and talked and not remembered without adding another substance (or three) to the mix.   So unless the FDA recalls Flintstone vitamins for getting a little wacky, that is not the problem.

I am just blackout-tired this week.

On the bright side, I woke up with all my clothes on and recognized the man in bed with me!

Alex Iwashyna

Alex Iwashyna went from a B.A. in philosophy to an M.D. to a SAHM, poet and writer by 30. She spends most of her writing time on, a humor blog (except when it's serious) about her husband fighting zombies, awkward attempts at friendship, and dancing like everyone is watching. She also has a soft spot for culture, politics, and rude Southern people who offend her Yankee sensibilities. She parents 2 elementary-aged children, 1 foster baby, 3 cats, and 1 puppy, who are all Southern but not rude. Yet.

3 thoughts to “Baby Blackout”

  1. I have likewise experienced one of these – but did not have the appropriate term – mommy blackout is IT! brilliant indeed!

    (L was about 11 months old, I woke up THRILLED that he had finally slept “all night” meaning, of course, almost 5 hours in a row… happily I made pancakes to celebrate and couldn’t wait to share the good news and celebrations with Matt when he woke up – but turns out, for the first time, in my sleepy delirium, I just didn’t REMEMBER L waking up! so now in our house “should we make pancakes?” is comical code for “this kid really is never going to sleep through the night, is he?” or “he woke up and I just blocked it out?”)

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